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Funny lines from escort ads

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I frequently see lines that make me laugh out loud in these ads.

 

One that readily comes to mind:

 

"Incall or outcall, depending on location."

 

Got any to share?

 

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I always laugh at "party friendly"... I don't know if that says to you what it does to me.. lol

It's even funnier when they write the extra detail "NO TRADES!"

 

Lmao!

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I know what they mean but it's funny if you take it literally...so...no mechanics, plumbers, electricians ect...

Lmao I think to myself "wtf is this girl's problem??"

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Kendra's Red House adult massage studio in downtown St. John's operates out of a nice location with the entrance on the back.... I have been to Kendra's a few time this year and always had a great experience but in the ad that they are running recently on BP they always add at the end...

 

"(use rear door)"

 

Which just makes me smile... lol

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My favorite was by a young spinner

 

"Young beautiful 90 pound spinner .. pay by the pound "

 

Not sure what your paying for or how long but made me think lol

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Ladies posting fake pictures that claim their "photos are 100% real" or state "Photos guaranteed real or it's free".

 

Sure, the photos are real. But not of them.

Any what exactly are they offering that's free?

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What make me laugh is when they are advertising 15 min session and they write :''no rush service'' or ''not a clock watcher''...hum...the clock is ticking...

I have nothing against 15 min or 30 min mind you, but how do you keep track of such a small time frame without watching the time ?

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Guest st*****ens**ors

I've seen a couple that made me chuckle recently including:

 

"Santa Claus is coming....how bout you?"

 

And

 

"Stuff my stocking?"

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I just saw this and laughed but I actually agree with her...

 

 

"Yo", "What's up", "Eye" are not greetings

 

"No thugs, no hoodies, no GHETTO anything"

 

"No weird or ceepy people"

 

"Act normal"

Reminds me of the time someone sent both my girlfriend and I a text when we sharing a place together..

 

"Yo, escort lady! I like to get wit u".

 

We both howled. Yea, we'll get right on that! LMAO!

 

Is this what it comes down to? That we have to tell people how to conduct themselves or how to introduce themselves? Sigh... BP certainly never gets boring. That's for sure!

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Guest st*****ens**ors

I was really surprised to see a recent ad that stated:

 

No overweight. 200 lbs max.

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The funny ones are the ones who are trying WAYYYY too much and adding everything you've mentionned:

 

-Better than her, her and her (with arrow to make sure we know who shes talking about)

-I will blow your mind (yes like all of us will)

-Special rates (that keeps on getting lower and lower every week) and have the audacity to write "non-negotiable" when the rate in their title is lower than the rates in the ad lol you are CLEARLY negotiable.

-Available 24/7 + party friendly (we get it girl ;) )

-Starting the ad with allll of the NO this and no that (no black, no rush, no drama, no negotiation, no thugs, etc.) i feel the word "no" just sound too negative to start an ad with it!

-5star service (who confirm to you that it was 5star? Are you on trip advisor and we don't know about it perhaps?)

 

Im pretty sure i forget many lol but on my part this is what i notice the most.

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My favourite has always been the lady who advertised herself as an upscale courtisane then in another section of her profile stated a favourite activity of hers was drinking.

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She meant better than sleeping ;-)

 

 

My absolute favorite is.....Better than the rest (and how do you figure YOU are better than the other ladies) and better at what exactly lmaoooo right on
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"if fake photo free service 2 hour" I hope they are fake but that she is good looking and offers a good service because 2 hours might be a long time.

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One I could never make sense of is: "brand new! Very well reviewed!"

 

Was never really sure how you could manage both at once...

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"I Will Do What Your Wife Won't!" lol...

 

You'll let me go drinking with the boys and sleep till noon on Sundays? Where do I sign up?

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