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Etiquette Question - Tipping

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Good questions, SP's are different than MP in that they get paid up front. There is a service expectation with the amount paid and that is discussed when paying at the beginning of the session. If you are really impressed with the value than repeat with that SP, if you don't intend on repeating because for some reason, than tip in advance then you get your mileage. It is not a general practice to tip after service with an SP, I may from time to time buy them a gift if I see them regularly.

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Dummpy...

 

So the way to show true appreciation is not by tipping AFTER the service, but instead to repeat. OMG!!! Now I have to go back and repeat with all of those fantastic ladies. What if they are FABULOUS the second time too (and of course they will be)? Then do I have to repeat a third time? Damn! Are we having fun yet or what???

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I agree with Dummpy's answer, to look at from a perspective you drop $$$ 1st visit, and than $$$ 2nd visit and those may only be 1 hour visits. I think your payment really includes a tip.Now, I have gone on record in prior threads, I try to bring flowers on my visits, if the florist is open! as I generally take early morning appointments...(I like to be the first man of the day). I think it really helps the mood when we first meet, and its a nice gesture, woman do like flowers. I have also bought and brought massage oil/sex toy's to the provider and left her with the gifts for the next time, or she can use for herself. I try to remember that meeting a SP is first date, so you try to settle your nerves down by playing with the toys or taking in some compliments about the flowers.

Edited by PistolPete
typo
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PistolPete

 

Looks like concensus is forming here. I also like the idea of bringing along a little 'something'.

 

Ladies... what do you say?

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This is an interesting subject; I'm interested what the ladies have to say in this regard.

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I rather bring something with me than tipping over what been agreed on, in my opinion tipping more means there is hidding cost and might expect it of me every time and $$ becomes $$ & half so on and so forth, as it mentioned here i would rather visit the SP more as a show of appreciation rather than tipping her once and never go back again and that way i might get better service since we have met before. thats my thought:rolleyes:.

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After viewing websites, my general consensus is that some of the ladies websites have covered this subject. Some prefer that a donation to a specified charity in lieu. Other ladies remain silent and some accept the gratuity or extra gift. In all, I think its going to vary depending on the particular lady.

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Thank you Cat...well said. Your post gives a behind the scenes perspective.

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When I asked the original question I really had no idea what the deal was here on this topic. Almost immediately there were thoughtful replies provided... gifts, repeat visits... all of which made great sense to me.

 

However I'd like to acknowledge Cat speaking out (quite unselfishly I'm sure; thinking of the other SP's as much or more than herself). I read her post more than once, just to make sure it all sunk in. Frankly, it all resonated with me.

 

Like some (many?) of you, I've had the priviledge of spending time with this wonderful lady and I truly appreciate the extraordinary efforts she goes to, to provide simply the best experience possible. And she is not the only one... this Board is legitimately full of praise for so many of the exceptional providers in our community.

 

After reading her post, I was going to suggest a % tip, but on second thought I don't it is right for me to do that; ie: to imply what anyone else should do.

 

But let's be cool about this and when the service is exceptional as it so often is, let's each of us - in our own way - let these ladies know we appreciate them and what they do.

 

Just my 2cents

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"Flowers and trinkets are lovely in thought, but a girl can?t deposit wilted stems into an RRSP, and my bank doesn?t seem to take dildos, massage oil, garter belts or silk stockings on deposit -go figure! "

Darling Cat, not to get into a confrontation over the great debate of tipping, but maybe you did not understand my thread. SP's at 300 for a hour, I may buy a gift or continue as a regular client which is excellent for them. SP's that are less than that mark I'll tip. Yes you can't roll up wilted stems into RRSP, but it is certainly was my thought that counted..now wasn't it?

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"Flowers and trinkets are lovely in thought, but a girl can?t deposit wilted stems into an RRSP, and my bank doesn?t seem to take dildos, massage oil, garter belts or silk stockings on deposit -go figure! "

 

Darling Cat, not to get into a confrontation over the great debate of tipping, but maybe you did not understand my thread. SP's at 300 for a hour, I may buy a gift or continue as a regular client which is excellent for them. SP's that are less than that mark I'll tip. Yes you can't roll up wilted stems into RRSP, but it is certainly was my thought that counted..now wasn't it?

 

 

Darling Pistol Pete,

If you reread my thread, you will see I made allowances for those of you who are bankable. Your continued support to the SP's in Ottawa is exceptional as your posts show. The information was directed at the other 90% of the board who simply read and don't post. The ones that dabble, see someone occasionally and will tie up time with email for weeks trying to decide who to see, figure out the rules and understand.

Regardless of the amount of the consideration, if a guest is not going to be a reliable client, and the service is there, a tip in place of a gift is always preferable. I have thrown out boxes of chocolates, underwear that don't fit, and composted flowers thinking that the $ could have been better spent if handed to me.

I have many a guest who could show up with an IOU in an envelope and they would still leave smiling, for they have proven to me time and again they genuinely care. It isn't the money per say, it is the understanding of our situations that dictate whether a gift shows true insight and caring. If what a girl really needs is to put up her tuition or put braces on her child, do toys really help that along? If you know your SP, you will know what is really important to her, and your choice of tip can reflect that.

Catherine

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Darling Pistol Pete,

 

...........

 

I have many a guest who could show up with an IOU in an envelope and they would still leave smiling, for they have proven to me time and again they genuinely care. It isn't the money per say, it is the understanding of our situations that dictate whether a gift shows true insight and caring. If what a girl really needs is to put up her tuition or put braces on her child, do toys really help that along? If you know your SP, you will know what is really important to her, and your choice of tip can reflect that.

 

Catherine

 

I think this is the key, I am the first to admit when a gift is for me or for the SP, lotions toys novelty clothes are for me and the fact the SP lets me use them enhances the experience. Gifts I have given that I feel are for them include laptops, shopping trips to Ikea, nice outfits with gift receipt that they can where in public or return if the money is better appreciated. Then there are the frivolous gifts that you give a long term SP because you know them well, a special flower that has some meaning, a special food that again is mutually known and shows you remember (Hot dog with mayonnaise!) or a special wine, these gifts only gain meaning after time together.

 

In the end cold hard cash is often my choice over and over, if you want someone to really know you appreciate them hand them an envelope with a dozen brown bills!

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In the end cold hard cash is often my choice over and over, if you want someone to really know you appreciate them hand them an envelope with a dozen brown bills!

 

I need to feel appreciated dummpy...really I do!:D

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I think the bottom line on this is that SP's do not expect a gratuity, and when one is recieved, the thought is always appreciated. In a society where SP's are given no validation publicly, it falls to those who use our services to give us a pat on the back sometimes.

My guests have often heard me say that I am blessed because incredible people seem to fall in my lap, and that is the real "thank you". Ottawa is full of men who embrace us as we are, for who we are and show us they care in a multitude of ways. I give everything I can to my guests because I know the ultimate sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing I have put 100% into a situation. Over the years, I have found that people respond in spades and Ottawa is no exception.

My input to this thread was not a demand for more money, but simply to let people know that girls in our situations really, truly appreciate the little extra, if you have it to give. If not, please know a genuine, heartfelt thank you is more than enough.

My hat is off to the gentlemen of this board for their input and their willingness to discuss something sticky like this without getting their tigglies in a wink.

I salute you!

Catherine

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Of course antlerman, one dozen Sandy McTire's coming right up!

 

 

Bfront.jpg

 

I need to feel appreciated dummpy...really I do!:D
Edited by mod

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Of course antlerman, one dozen Sandy McTire's coming right up!

Bfront.jpg

 

A dozen!!! Wow that is appreciation. He can probably get a SCREWdriver for that.

Edited by mod
Typo

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One day I got a really bad haircut from the barber that I've been going to for years. I told my buddy and he said "Do you tip him?" I said "What? No. He's a barber. He's a got a sign on the door that says $10, that's what it costs man, that's what I pay him."

 

We decided the barber was telling me I should tip him, so he gave me a bad haircut. It was like something from a Seinfeld episode. Anyhow, my next haircut I tipped him a couple of dollars. I've never had a bad haircut since (and this is years later, like 10 maybe) and when I'm there I notice some guys get a 15 minute cut but I always get a longer time in the chair and he goes over my hair many times to make sure it's just right. I always tip him now too.

 

I work in a service profession too, I'm a contractor. I don't get sick leave, I don't get paid if I'm injured, I don't get paid holidays or days off either. I don't get tips either. Usually I get grief, people complaining I'm charging too much, even if I laid out the terms and price up front. I get repeat customers, they're the good ones...but again they don't tip. Maybe a gift and I'm always grateful...always!

 

I have cell phone bills, car expenses, special expensive clothing, website bills...you get the picture, just like an SP...but I don't make $300 hour and yet somehow I manage to live fine. I feed my kids and wear a nice watch and have a roof over my head.

 

I'm not convinced we should be tipping just for the sake of tipping, like we tip in a restaurant...no way. But if the service is exeptional, better than you expected, then go for it, tip away...and who cares if you do it as you leave. It might be uncomfortable but the SP won't care when she's counting it. Just my 2 cents, thanks.

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One day I got a really bad haircut from the barber that I've been going to for years. I told my buddy and he said "Do you tip him?" I said "What? No. He's a barber. He's a got a sign on the door that says $10, that's what it costs man, that's what I pay him."

 

We decided the barber was telling me I should tip him, so he gave me a bad haircut. It was like something from a Seinfeld episode. Anyhow, my next haircut I tipped him a couple of dollars. I've never had a bad haircut since (and this is years later, like 10 maybe) and when I'm there I notice some guys get a 15 minute cut but I always get a longer time in the chair and he goes over my hair many times to make sure it's just right. I always tip him now too.

 

I work in a service profession too, I'm a contractor. I don't get sick leave, I don't get paid if I'm injured, I don't get paid holidays or days off either. I don't get tips either. Usually I get grief, people complaining I'm charging too much, even if I laid out the terms and price up front. I get repeat customers, they're the good ones...but again they don't tip. Maybe a gift and I'm always grateful...always!

 

I have cell phone bills, car expenses, special expensive clothing, website bills...you get the picture, just like an SP...but I don't make $300 hour and yet somehow I manage to live fine. I feed my kids and wear a nice watch and have a roof over my head.

 

I'm not convinced we should be tipping just for the sake of tipping, like we tip in a restaurant...no way. But if the service is exeptional, better than you expected, then go for it, tip away...and who cares if you do it as you leave. It might be uncomfortable but the SP won't care when she's counting it. Just my 2 cents, thanks.

 

Dear capitalman,

 

There are so many aspects of your post that on the surface ring true, but when the reality is examined shows the extreme differences between our professions. Comparing the life of a SP to any other business is not feasible. Yes, you have the same kind of overhead that we do, but you do not face the challenges that SP's do. It's important you have a clear understanding of the challenges we face before you start the comparison.

 

Many of us independents are parents, have other jobs that do not pay the bills, but we have to maintain them to ensure we do not lose our children to the state, or have our teenage children put in a compromising "living off the avails" situation. Most of us have to sacrifice our personal lives in it's entirety to conduct our business as it needs to be if we are independent. As SP's we have a limited run, working extracts tolls that most cannot even imagine. As I have stated in previous posts, this is like the career of the professional athlete, you can only do it for so long before it does permanent, irreparable damage. For some it is a physical manifestation, but for most it is mental. It can and will leave scars on each and every SP in some way, and most are not equipped to deal with the fallout. You on the other hand, can continue to be a contractor until you decide to retire which gives you 30 some odd years to build and run your business and make your mark. SP's do not have that luxury, unless we are blessed with titanium inner strength and the good fortune to have a partner who shares our backbone. It's easier to find a 10 carat diamond in the Gatineau river, than a partner who can accept an SP's line of work.

 

This is a line of work where we share the most intimate part of ourselves daily with complete strangers. The energy expended to ensure our guests leave feeling good is enormous. Even a legend like dummpy visits a maximum of one provider per day, we can see up to 5 or 6 guests maximum and that is a WOW day. Most of our time is spent in preparation, and when I average my day, I make about $22 an hour. Not bad for a country hick with no education. But it will be over at some point, what then? We move on, but unless we have invested the money we are back where we started. Most of us have bills to pay which is why we are working in this industry to begin with. SP's don't wake up one day and decide to go hustle. We choose it because our backs are against the wall and we have no other option. I have spent close to $250K on lawyers in the last 7 years because of the industry I am in. My RRSP's are lower than other women my age and my finacial future is entirely dependent on my ability to generate an income.

 

Try for a minute to imagine what it is like to open the door to people you have never met, and take them into yourself. Over and over and over again. Now imagine the reality that many will have issues you find distasteful. Perhaps the hygiene is questionable, or his attitude is demeaning. He pinches and bites a bit too hard and leaves marks, or is too aggressive and leaves you sore and swollen. What if he is first for the day? Every guest after that just makes it worse, and even if they are someone you know and enjoy, it's hard to grit your teeth and not have them know you are in pain. Just think....

 

So when it comes to tipping, think about the entire scenario and the PERSON who has just made you smile. Realize the effort she puts in and acknowledge it, even if it is only an email saying thank you. $ will always be appreciated, but just knowing that someone gives kudos for a job well done is often enough...

 

Catherine

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Nicely put Catherine, it is too easy to look at what you do as just another business and you are so right.

 

I am willing to bet not too many of us on here would be willing to put ourselves in your position my self included. We do need to be reminded about the cost of doing business goes well beyond the monetary.

 

I personally believe it is always important to let the sp know how much I appreciate their efforts and in truth that applies to any person I deal with. It does make a difference.

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Thanks Cat. You're right. I'm not going to say I'm wrong, because I don't think I am completely, but you're right.

 

I shouldn't try to compare SP's to other lines of work, it's unique that's for sure. I'm sorry if I offend.

 

I guess I'm just trying to say every line of work is unique in its own way and does uniqueness warrant a tip? I don't know...who knows. Does my friggin' barber deserve a tip every time? NO...but I do it anyways, because I'm now in the habit. I can't turn back now! Every so often the barber opens the cash register and pulls a big twenty out and dumps a handful of toonies from his pocket. The guy probably makes more in tips in a day than his net income from cutting hair! I'm insanely jealous. There, the truth is out! :-)

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Guest Honey'zMia (Account closed by request)

Honestly, I love repeat clients but that's just not an option sometimes, I always appreciate an extra 20 so I know I did a good job.

You don't HAVE to tip all the time, but if she did good, then she did good guys!!

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There certainly was no offense taken, this is a place to discuss these things and see another?s point of view. There is no right or wrong of it. It simply is. Every occupation has its own distinct challenges, and when it comes to finding the best of the best, it is always a scavenger hunt. In every profession there are those that simply show up, do their job and go home. Then there are the ones that put the effort in to become exceptional and those are the ones we all search for. A barber is an excellent example. If you want the extras, the tip is mandatory. It isn't the extra couple of dollars you leave that motivate him to do a masterful job; it's knowing you appreciate the effort and the results. My hairstylist could double his fees and I would pay it, because he is the best I have found for me and I wouldn't want to try and find someone else. It is a risk I am unwilling to take; my hair is part of how I make my living. If I were willing to risk having my tresses butchered a couple of times I could probably find someone else, but the grow out is long and painful. Been there, done that, not doing it again. So many out there wallow in a mundane existence and never notice the little things, and we all need the recognition that we are doing a good job. Thus the "tip"?

 

What I think has been missed out on in this thread is the symbology of the "tip". In some professions like waitressing, it is their bread and butter. For others in the service industry it is a thank you. But what does a "tip" say about the tipper? The way a person tips sends signals loud and clear about a person?s character. Someone who is "tight" shall we say sends out a message that they are constricted, adverse to letting go or taking a risk. In the game of seduction it is the ultimate anti-seducer. We are all cheaper than we think, and often float thru life without realizing the message we send is that we are closed off. Having a giving nature blankets someone?s entire being. Someone who shares willingly will do so in all areas of their lives. It means you are not afraid to give of yourself and that will carry you further in this world than just about anything else.

 

In the world of science, quantum physics has proven that thoughts physically manifest themselves and what we think can become real. Having a generous nature means the world will be generous back. I have experienced this first hand; it is a truth that has proven itself time and time again in my life. While money is a good way to gauge someone?s nature, selective gen♣♣♣♣ity is always a good rule to apply. People can give without hurting their wallets; all it takes is a little willingness to open up to others. I never worry about a tip when I have a guest who comes to me with his spirit open and giving. Those that arrive with walls that need to be dismantled one brick at a time seldom, if ever get invited back regardless of a tip. Everything we say, every action we take sends out messages and we need to be aware of what the message we are sending is. The money simply symbolizes recognition and appreciation, and helps alleviate some of the day to day stresses that preoccupy the mind. Just my thoughts on it...

 

Catherine

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