Sex Addiction - Does it exist?

I guess you all know me by now, I love starting controversial threads!

There has been a lot of debate around "sex addiction," especially with Tiger Woods. Some people think it's just an excuse for men to cheat and not take responsibility for their actions. Others think that sex can be a real addiction just like a drug or gambling and it needs to be recognized as such.

What do you think?

My two cents. I think, in a very small minority of people, sex addiction does exist. And it likely exists for both men and woman.

But people who can't (or won't) stay monogomous in a relationship, that isn't sex addiction. And if they use sex addiction as an excuse for their infidelity, well that imho makes suspect the legitimate cases of sex addiction. A laymans perspective who really knows nothing on the subject.

As for Tiger Woods (only because he was referred too) he brought his infidelities into the public eye and publicly humiliated his wife...I'm not judging individual relationships but to publicly humilate his wife in the process...why not use some discretion, keep it private

Then to market the affairs (the nike ad, "What have you learned") for sponsership, gas on a fire, and obviously no regard for his (then) wife and family, only concern, the almighty dollar

RG

sex addiction....YES......it is real no wonder we are all here!!!!!

Great thread Megan. Thanks for starting it and I look forward to responses.

I am myself a believer in sex addiction, not sure though in my case it can be called sex addiction but rather a girl addiction. I really absolutely LOVE girls and I have to be with one of two every weekend or I will be (psychologically) sick for the rest of the week.

They (young ladies, 19 to 25) have such a calming effect on me as Friday afternoons I am all tense and tired but Sunday morning I wake up all relaxed and calm. And if I don't have one girl at least (i.e. If I have a flu or have to travel or couldn't find a match) then I feel sick in many ways it is a addiction (like drug addiction) that I have to get it on a regular basis or I will feel sick. Therefore it qualifies as addiction NOT to sex though. Even if I don't have sex with my date (even when I receive private dancers which no sex is involved, but lots of no restriction kissings) or those weekends that I choose to go to SCs, I still feel relaxed and fulfilled. Yes strange but in my case true so that is why I called it a girl addiction rather than sex addiction.

Sex addiction not only exists, but is far more common than once thought. New estimates have it at the rate of almost 50% of the population. These people can usually be identified by a genetic mutation commonly known as a penis.

Excellent response, Mikeyboy! Though I think the figure you cite is too low, and that the condition doesn't only affect those who suffer from the genetic mutation you mention...

Of course it exists, when most people think of addiction they think of "substance dependense" caused by drugs or alcohol and tobacco , behavioral addiction can include things like gambling,shopping, porn,video games,computers,exercise,running,spiritual and work obsessions sex and probably a whole slew more,people with addictive personalities usually have more than one addiction, so i,m told-lol

sex addiction....YES......it is real no wonder we are all here!!!!!

I have to agree with you Loralee. Sex addiction is real. I've been addicted all my life and have spent more money on it than I care to think about. I don't regret it though as I've enjoyed most of the sexual encounters I've had especially with some of the great SPs I've known over the years!

I guess you all know me by now' date=' I love starting controversial threads!

 

There has been a lot of debate around "sex addiction," especially with Tiger Woods. Some people think it's just an excuse for men to cheat and not take responsibility for their actions. Others think that sex can be a real addiction just like a drug or gambling and it needs to be recognized as such.

 

What do you think?[/quote']

If it doesn't exist then my mind is messed up real bad.

Although I would say that Sex Addiction is to broad a term.

 

I would say that I have an addiction to sex wherein I would crave sex more frequency than most. Almost all the time.

I would say that I have an addiction to sex with different women. I can not imagine a monogomous life. I have tried many times but then she walks by, Blonde, Brunette, Red head, Whatever... She has the look and I can't help but want to share a sexual experience with her.

 

What other kids of sexual addictions are out there??

The DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) does not recognize Sexual Addiction. The DSM is a living document and its next edition is due in 2013. There is a working group looking at the inclusion of Sexual Addiction.

Since a sex drive and associated behaviours is common to all mammals it complicates the characterization of many behaviours as an addiction. Many professionals find that in those who display the behaviours that we associate with "sexual addiction" are in fact compulsive behaviours. In some studies the same pharmacological treatments used to help patients cope with OCD are effective in coping with "sexual addiction". It is also seen as a symptom of bi-polar disorder and mania in schizoaffective disorder. That said it is not a diagnosis of either just as a cough is not a diagnosis of pneumonia.

In sum the "jury is still out" on this issue. Unfortunately this leaves the field open to a lot of charlatans who would be happy to take your money to follow their "program" of treatment. Unfortunately this has been the case in dealing with issues of sexuality since at least Victorian times. Be it electric shocks to stop nocturnal emissions, or interventions to "cure" homosexuality.

Be cautious. If you feel signs of compulsion that you cannot control and these are having an effect on your life - by all means consult a professional.

Dose sex addiction exist?

Well this is a difficult questions, as if you think about it we are all sex addicts...(with the exception of my EX). We all want it, we all have uncontrollable urges to get it, and yet it is only an outstanding feeling for about a few amazing seconds.

But are we still capable of going on with life and do our jobs, pay our bills and not go through withdrawal if we do not get it? No, if when going through a dry spell, are you still able to take your mind off of it and watch a movie?

I think that there are a few gifted people that have a higher sex drive then most other people, but they are still capable to sit in the waiting room at the doctor?s office with have to please themselves. On the other had I am sure that some of us have snuck out to have a quick little release during their lunch break.

If you are charged with a crime, will your ?sex Addiction? set you free?

Well it seems to work for all the Hollywood stars, and if it can get them out of bad press, I say YES it does exist

IT WORKED FOR TIGGER!

;-)

It sounds like people confuse addiction with normal needs. We all need food and water, that's not an addiciton. Sex is a normal need, but being sexually active is not a sign of addiction, it's part of a normal need

Couple more cents to the discussion

RG

I think as a human being we are all in need of closeness. The world is so busy and stressed its no wonder we look for something to help us feel better. And what could be better then sex? The human touch does amazing things for everyone. I for one (if sex is an addiction) would rather be hooked on sex than drugs.

Sex as an addiction? Im not sure, maybe not the physical act even though it feels absolutely amazing, but perhaps its the need to fill an emotional void....

It's a tricky question. Where does one draw the line between an addiction, and just a higher than normal sex drive? I think I view it similar to alcoholism in the sense that there are different levels of alcoholism. There are alcoholics whose addiction ruins every aspect of their lives, threatens their health, job, relationships, finances, etc. They're basically just not able to function as normal people do because of it and basically need to be institutionalized for their own sake. Then there's the alcoholics who probably drink more than is normal but are still able to function and live a normal life, but that still need that daily drink (or 5). For the longest time I was in that second category, still able to function but pretty much getting drunk every night unbeknownst to my friends, family or co-workers. (3 years without a drop now! :) )

I think when it comes to sex I'm in that same place. I need some form of sexual stimulation daily, whether that's self pleasuring, going to a SC or seeing a SP. (sadly, it's usually the first :P). Difference between sex and alcohol is that sexual craving is a natural thing....to an extent. I'm still able to function. I can still manage to control myself enough to keep me living comfortably with a roof over my head and food in my belly, etc. So am I addicted or do I just have a higher than normal sex drive? Sometimes I think I'm just hornier than most but than sometimes I'll think I really am addicted. It's really a tough question to ask yourself.

I guess I'm saying that it does indeed exist. There are extreme cases of people, like alcoholism, who are so far gone that they cannot function in society because of their sexual addiction and really do need professional help. Examples like Sabrina's, people whose sexual addiction is actually causing them physical and mental damage. So yes, the addiction does exist, but I don't think that everyone who is horny should be classified as a sexual addict. If you're not hurting yourself or others, and if you don't let it take over every aspect of your life, then why not get laid as often as possible? It's natural, fun, and safe (if you're smart about it). You're not destroying your liver, lungs, etc by having sex regularly. Maybe in clinical terms I am an addict, I really couldn't say, but I definitely don't consider myself one. I'm not spending all my money in SC's or with SP's, it's in no way affecting any other aspect of my life, I know that there is a line and I know where it's drawn. I think a true addict is someone who doesn't even know there is a line. I've always equated an addiction with something that is self destructive. And having sex regularly (within reason), is in no way self destructive (again, so long as you're safe and smart about it).

A lot of things are labeled as additions. Overuse of alcohol, drugs, gambling, overeating, yes even shopping or exercising (compulsive runners for example) and now recently sexual addition is in the forefront due to celebrity exposure. We heard little about sex addition before because, well, it is about sex....

I think what drives people to addition (sex or otherwise) is an inner craving to counter something that is missing (hardly original thought). I guess, and perhaps this is a generalization, but from a sex perspective, sexual addicts use porn, sex workers, multiple affairs, compulsive masturbation to seek momentary relief from feelings of disconnectedness, disappointment, depression, loneliness or to counter anxiety and stress from today?s lifestyle; or perhaps from not living up to expectations, real or percieved. It can be connected to work or to a relationship. Mostly it is men who seek the intimacy that sex brings to get relief from pain, rejection, feelings of inadequacy, failure, even abuse. It is the inability to deal with these feelings (by some accepted way)that may lead some to use obsessive sexual activity to bring relief.

Sex (more than the normal need - hard to determine what is normal I know), is one way that gives us the momentary connection, or diversion needed to balance out negative feelings with the positive. Something that makes us feel good, if even for the moment. Of course this can be the same reason to engage in sex outside a relationship. It is the escapism and temporary euphoria we can get from this intimate encounter. (Of course you don?t need to be addicted to seek the same, but I guess it is the obsession and frequency that makes it an addiction - you just have to go back for more - all the time.)

?I just want to make up for lost time? or ?enjoy life to the fullest?, ?I just love women? are many of the excuses we use to validate this obsession or ?maybe the hobby itself?....? It also involves risk and the thrill of the experience...regardless of the consequences such as impact to your SO, family, career, risks to personal health (those that seek to engage in unsafe sex primarily).

A final thought: calling yourself or identifying someone as an addict is sometimes used to validate ?bad? behavior (outside society?s norm). A subset of people will use ?addition? to excuse their actions or to feel less shame or guilt.

The link below is an interesting discussion on "Sex Addiction" from CBC radio 1 this morning.

http://www.cbc.ca/video/news/audioplayer.html?clipid=1678089964

Yes, sex can be an addiction. The broad criteria would be that if activity interferes/affects everyday life, work, relationship and one does not cease, despite damage, that's addiction. It's addiction the way gambling might be, but not drug/nicotine/alcohol.

But on everyday level , relationship fall apart, people loose jobs etc, because they spent hours every day on the net, masturbate several times a day everyday. Most of it net related, though.

It is a known fact that soft-core and plain pornography reduce incidence of sexual assaults (Scandinavia and Holland have alway had lower sex assault rates than 'rest of the world'), but violent porn actually may increase the risk and rate of offences and become addictive with escalation of let's say intensity. The former is just a way of release, the latter enters a self-tightening spiral.

There is a joke in medical circles, with a grain of truth, that a guy who masturbates more than 9 times a week, has some kind of a problem. They say up to nine is normal: one per week day and two on weekends is OK.;-)

Personally I'm not a fan of the increasing medicalization of sex. If you have a weird fetish, suddenly you're a freak, if you have too much sex, suddenly you're a nymphomaniac. Too much focus has been put on what is considered "normal" sexual behaviour, and in reality, there is no normal sexual behaviour. We all have likes and tastes and quirks. There is nothing wrong with that.

Agreed!!!...And who cares what two (or more) consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms/hotel rooms/kitchens/living rooms etc etc etc.

As long as people aren't being exploited/hurt and they all consent, it's all good

RG

Agreed!!!...And who cares what two (or more) consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms/hotel rooms/kitchens/living rooms etc etc etc.

As long as people aren't being exploited/hurt and they all consent, it's all good

RG

I think we can agree that something is an addiction if it starts affecting other parts of your life, like your finances.