How do escorts handle people with herpes?

I have herpes, and its coming to the point that I'm willing to try escorts because I'm so afraid of rejection and especially whether or not people will tell other people of my condition.

How often are you getting outbreaks? Can you take Valtrex or other medication to control your outbreaks? If you use a condom and you are not having an outbreak, the risk of transmission is very low.

I don't understand the mentally of "I won't sleep with someone who has an STI" because when you are sleeping with strangers, you never really know. In my work, I pretty much assume everyone has every STI/D on the planet, until we get to know each other. This is one of the key reasons I chose to do massage rather than escorting. That is my personal choice, and I respect the choices of others.

Not a bag! Women in your profession take all the risks...STI/D's are only the tip of the iceberg. It's not like you weren't polite...and it's your bodies, your jobs, your lives. Knowledge and honesty is key for an industry such escorting to survive. Otherwise, we go back to sleezy, slimy situations where no one wins.

I also commend icebay for having the courage to ask the question. There are some on this board would not have been as "nice" in their responses.

My answer above is pretty much general regarding STDs, but re-reading your post, I want to ask why it is you're 'willing to try escorts'? Because, just like any other woman you may try to score with, your sexual history impacts whether we will say yes or no. Not to sound too harsh, but if its rejection you're scared of, contacting escorts likely won't garner much different of a response than in the general public.

 

The best way to deal with this is to simply live your life. Bring it up with a prospective partner when the time is right. I have a few close friends who are in long-term relationships, where one partner has herpes. But since they love each other, it's a non-issue. And the other partner still is fine.

The difference as I see it is, that escorts have to be more open minded and be more educated on STDs, so its not like they would be so harsh if someone with herpes happens to reveal it to them. With someone who isn't working in the sex industry I'd imagine many, if not most, will have an ignorant opinion on the subject, and not mention will probably handle the event a lot less maturely. Based on first hand experience, I can tell you many people really are like that.

I have herpes, and its coming to the point that I'm willing to try escorts because I'm so afraid of rejection and especially whether or not people will tell other people of my condition.

Frankly, I'm troubled by your query because you seem to be saying that, because you have herpes--and presumably have had negative reactions from other women--you're "willing to try escorts." You say that you're afraid of being rejected and of having your condition reported to others.

I hope you're not buying into the stereotype of escorts as disease-ridden women. It's completely false. You are significantly more likely to be infected with a sexually transmissible infection (STI) from your wife or girlfriend than you are from an independent paid companion who works indoors. That's because we companions generally will not engage in sexual activities which are common in husband-and-wife relationships. We tend to be scrupulous about our health not only because we have many, many sexual partners whose histories we cannot possibly know but also because we have no reason to trust that our clients are infection-free.

I also hope that you're not imagining that escorts are the appropriate companions for someone who has an STI--that we're the "women of last resort," so to speak. What I mean to say is that it's okay to expose a paid companion to an STI because she's a prostitute. This is a reprehensible idea.

Forgive me if I seem to be casting aspersions your way if you don't think these things. I hope you're aware that many people take the health and safety needs of women in the sex trade much less seriously than other women's same needs.

Having said all that, I'd like to suggest that everyone calm down a bit when it comes to thinking about herpes. It's a real infection, it can be troubling at times, and it's also manageable. Good, accurate information is available from the Health Nurse. Read it carefully.

Many people have herpes and never know that they have it because they have mild or no apparent symptoms. Those at greatest risk are unborn children, yet women with herpes have safe pregnancies and deliver babies safely all the time in North America when their health care professionals know that the women have the infection.

People with herpes are most contagious in the first two years or if they have recurrences more than four times a year.

If you're using condoms 100% of the time, taking antiviral medication daily and having no sexual contact anytime you have sores, you're being responsible.

When or whether to tell a sexual partner that you have herpes is a complex decision. The Herpes Health website gives useful information to help in your decision-making process.

Finally, Australian sex workers who have herpes are advised not to work when they have symptoms until the sores have completely healed. They must use condoms 100% of the time when they're working.

Icebaytrinity, it's brave of you to bring this topic up. My view is that you have to be honest and upfront about your condition with anybody you see. The fact is that a lot of women will refuse you based on your condition.

Actually, herpes appears to be one of the hobby's dirty little secrets. People can have it and be asymptomatic, yet infectious at the same time. Safe sex reduces the risk somewhat but not absolutely. I hate to be cynical, but there are almost certainly both providers and clients (a small minority I hope!) that know they have the disease yet continue to participate in the hobby/industry.

I also find the OP saying he is 'willing to try' an escort sort of derogatory but it would be interesting to have him explain this to us as it could have probably just been a bad choice of words, it has happened to me in more than one occasion.

Stereotype as Samantha mentioned could also be the reason why he referred that way to the possibility of having an encounter with an escort and I can't speak for everyone but for myself and in my experience I did have a stereotype for both escorts and men who spent time with them and of course after I became one my perception of them changed and I learned that just as in almost everything there are different types.

Also, a little information that most may not know is the OP is a new member and a young man (21) and IMO is very admirable that a person his age has the honesty and courage to speak up about that matter (herpes) as opposed to hiding it which he could have done so I suggest we try to help icebaytrinity to learn about this particular topic and try to give him advice on how to handle it as well as give him and us the chance to trough posts getting to know him .

Welcome to cerb Icebay I invite you to take the time to read the threads in the forum for you to understand the real privilege spending time with an escort can be :)

Also, a little information that most may not know is the OP is a new member and a young man (21) and IMO is very admirable that a person his age has the honesty and courage to speak up about that matter (herpes) as opposed to hiding it which he could have done so I suggest we try to help icebaytrinity to learn about this particular topic and try to give him advice on how to handle it as well as give him and us the chance to trough posts getting to know him .

I agree 100% with Isabellas statement! I am quite sure that if I were 21 and had an issue such as this I would not have the "manhood" to speak of it...especially in this context! Not saying I wouldn't divulge that info. but maybe not so public. That being said the word "willing" may not have been the best choice of word and I suspect the OP will realize that after reading the many replies to his query.

I wonder what type of responses he would have received if he had of used the wording I have herpes, and its coming to the point that I would like to meet escorts because I'm so afraid of rejection and especially whether or not people will tell other people of my condition. I suspect we will never know but I am curious none the less.

I believe that his question is indeed valid, a little rough around the "willing" edges but valid none the less. I wish I had some first hand knowledge to give or advice to render but I do not. Regardless I am sure there are those who do, either SP or hobbyist and I am sure you will receive plenty of info. as long as we can all get over the word willing...

Yeah, it was a bad choice of words. I wanted to edit it, but it wouldn't let me. Sorry if I offended anyone.

I have herpes, and its coming to the point that I'm willing to try escorts because I'm so afraid of rejection and especially whether or not people will tell other people of my condition.

While I agree the phrase "willing" doesn't sound good, keep in mind a couple things. First, to publicly discuss an issue which has to be troubling for him, takes a great deal of courage. He should get a kudos for that alone.

Second, his age, 21, and third his posting history (2 posts)

Some people find it hard to convey thoughts to words. But if you look at the entirety of his post, the gist of it to me at least, he is worried about trying intimate relations because of the fear of rejection and that whoever he tries to see will tell other people about his condition. His choice of word "willing" does on first glance seem bad, but in context I take it as he wants to see escorts because the escort wouldn't tell others of his condition and an escort might not be as likely to reject him out of hand because he has herpes. And the inference from that is clear, he would tell a escort of his condition

Look at the intent of his words and post, I certainly don't think he intended any disrespect to the ladies. And really, if he wanted avoid all the criticisms, he could have avoided posting altogether and kept it a secret

As I see it

RG

This has been an interesting read... And I understand all of the responses. All of them.

That being said, I also remember my first few posts... My first few questions.

And this guy is asking for help/information/advice. Good for him. How many guys with herpes just say 'fuck it', see SPs, and never tell them. Lots. I am sure.

So while I agree his choice of words is unfortunate, good for him for asking. So many guys with STIs or STDs never tell...

One of the things I love about CERB is how forgiving people here are. We all blow it sometimes. Give him a break, and some good advice. Think of it as a teaching moment.

Yeah, it was a bad choice of words. I wanted to edit it, but it wouldn't let me. Sorry if I offended anyone.

No offence taken here! Sometimes it is that one word that seems to make our whole statement appear to sound different than it actually is!