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How do you sneak out to see a SP/MA

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`Just wanted to know what excuses you have used to your wife to sneak out to spend time with a SP/MA. Did you ever get caught in your lie. How did you get out of it. Anyone with any interesting/funny stories

what is the stupidest excuse have you used..```

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Edited by someguy
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Some of my clients make quite a few runs over to Home Depot. Just make sure you do have Home Depot bag with something in it, you keep in your trunk.

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I never ask about this, but I do know that the Christmas shopping season tends to be very good for business. "Going Christmas shopping" must be a good excuse!

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Yep Old Dog that excuse has been working quite well, don't you think. You must be exhausted by now working all the overtime.

 

I used to go shopping on Saturdays, running around and while in those days it was SC, but would have allowed plenty of time for seeing an SP too. I tend to be a browser and like to window shop. Come to think of it, perhaps it never worked for me either, since I now am a single guy....more or less.

 

I have been working continuous overtime since April 24th, 2000. I don't think she has caught on yet... other than the whole divorce thing.

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I have learned that the more truth in a story, the better. When I go see an MP, I say I'm going for a massage. When I get home and am asked how the massage was, i say "great". No lies.

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Anyone use going to the gym as an excuse. This way you can explain why you may have taken a shower or smell sweaty or are tired :)

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As a single guy, I find myself not so much needing an excuse (no one knows)

but I plan ahead and let family members know I'm not available on a certain weekend. Believe it or not, with an elderly mother, I do find my time taken up with family responsibilities.

But I let family know a certain weekend is a "me" weekend (see not really lying), so don't voluntold LOL me for anything, I'm not available

RG

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Anyone use going to the gym as an excuse. This way you can explain why you may have taken a shower or smell sweaty or are tired :)

 

Just make sure you're not using that excuse all the time and never working out, or she'll be telling you to get your money back from the gym because she's not seeing any results - ha ha.

 

Seriously, though that is a good one.

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Take an hour off work during the day for an "appointment", and then work overtime to make up for it.

 

When you say you were working overtime, it will be the truth.

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The nature of my employ is such that I come and go at odd hours and the length of time I am gone is always variable. Also, there tends to be long gaps in the afternoon or evening when playtime becomes an option. So if I schedule my activities accordingly, there is no need to explain that hour's escape.

 

The other potential issue, unexplained scents, is easily dealt with. Occasionally, my job requires that I not smell like cigarettes. As part of my professional training I learned that a dab of hand sanitizer used in the manner of aftershave and also rubbed onto your clothing will kill any scent. If there is a serious concern, we have a special air deodorizer we use for vehicles. You can cover a dead skunk with it and it has no natural scent of its own. Spritz that on your clothes and you are good to go.

 

Or, if I don't feel like going through all that and don't feel like or have time for a shower, I just go home. Spending time in a vehicle with a woman who is heavily scented means that I often come home "perfumed" so there is no comment.

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I usually try to bookend a session between work or a meeting. I have always worked days, nights and weekends so the pattern was well established before I started down, or rather "up", this road.

I agree staying close to the truth is your best choice.

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I don't see SPs but I do have lovers, I tell my partner that I'm spending time with my lover and she says have fun. It's not easy but once you get an open relationship working well it's worth it's weight in gold.

If I had to offer an excuses to some one, I'd probably sugest a monthly visit to a pyschologist for stress reduction ;)

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The most simple course of action would be avoiding marriage entirely! ;)

 

...or get divorced! That's what I did, and man was it worth it!!!! :D

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Solutions!!!!

 

1) We have a family history of epididymitis and I need to go for SFET. (Seminal Fluid Evacuation Therapy)... heheheheeh... now you are all gonna look up that "e" illness....

 

2) "I know you said that you like this underwear, but I think I need a second opinion."

 

3) Hmmmm.... I could really go for that thing that you don't like to eat (but I do). I will be back in 4 hours.

 

4) I heard a noise, you stay here with the kids. I am going to buy a weapon for which I need a license and a permit. See you in 4 hours.

 

5) That really clumsy guy we know just texted, he is trapped behind the couch... again. I will help him out, see if he is okay. I will be back in 4 hours.

 

6) I need to speak to the bank. We keep having these crazy withdrawals every few days. I need to sort it out. Be back tomorrow.

 

7) I have a spontaneous need to be baptized again. I am heading off to the church in Kingston because they are open 24/7. See you in 8 hours.

 

8) Hey hun, you deserve a break. Why don't you take a trip to the mall and I will head over to Canadian Tire and look at car parts and other man stuff. See you in 4 hours.

 

9) I'm gonna sneak out and buy you that thing you have always wanted. Except they probably won't have it. They may have to special order it from that country that has a lot of red tape and requires a lot of paperwork. Back in 6 hours.

 

10) I'm going to have great sex with a complete stranger. Wanna tag along?

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12-Going to Bass Pro Shops shopping...one of the few times a man can say he is on a shopping trip, and still keep his "man card" LOL

 

Oh wait, when I see ladies in Toronto or Hamilton, I sometimes stop in at BPS

 

RG

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Some guys told me they tell to wife or gf that they are going to take a beer at a bar or they work overtime. Some other told me they wait for the wife or gf to be asleep at night and sneak out the door to meet people or to see a sex provider. I know one guy he tells her he is going for a short trip out of town for few days. He leaves with a suitcase to go to his friend's place (when the friend is not there) or hotel still in the same city where he lives with her and he sees a friend or a provider many times for 2 or 3 days. I guess these are pretty good excuses or tricks.

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Guest h**m****3

Early morning before work, over lunch, or one of the many errands I run on a day off. Wait for family to be out of twon or away and have a visit at home. Therefore no excuses required.

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Guest s******ecan****

I'm self employed so this is not an issue for me, I prefer morning encounters anyhow so it all fits together nicely :)

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Some of the excuses I have learned from clients are:

 

Shopping for special ocassions-they shop and have the reciept if found as proof

Going to visit a family member,going out with friends

Working over time

Going to pick up their kids at a function

Going Tanning

Going for an oil change

Going to the garage to get the car fixed

Going to the Gym

Going to get a haircut

 

WOW and I am sure there is many more lol

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I have a client who told me he told his wife he was helping 3 buddies build their decks this summer. He said it was true, so good for an out.

 

Another one told me his wife doesn't care for motorcycle rides, so he was off riding solo or with the guys from work. I wonder though what he tells her in the winter.

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