I lost my virginity with an SP

I do have to say that Piano8950 went about this in the right way. When someone sends me a pm or email saying that they are a virgin. I'm not worried that they are a virgin. I'm worried that they may not be ready or they have not thought the process through long enough. In this case Piano did some major soul searching which made spending time with him better.

To all virgins wanting to share their first experience with an sp please do some soul searching, write a positive and negative list and remember that this is an unconventional way of loosing your virginity. What I mean by unconventional is by societies standards.

If you have done all of this and your ready to play, great! Just like Piano8950 said read some reviews and take your time.

Thank you Piano8950 you are a great guy and I have no doubt in my mind that you will find someone special.

Well piano has kind of inspired me to make a confession of my own. When I read his post my jaw practically dropped at first because so much of what he said and wrote down reminded me of my own situation and what happened to me not to long ago.

I was pretty much in the exact situation, I was 27 years old and was still a virgin. Now I will admit that this did make me feel uncomfortable and awkward, especially around women who were very sexually open. And I can remember more than a few conversations with people where I kind of had to skirt the issue. But in all honesty my reasons for going this route were that I honestly felt that this was something that was affecting me in a negative way, almost like an anchor dragging me down. It was something that I felt I needed to do to liberate myself and I can honestly say that I felt it did. I have absolutely no regrets and like piano I am very glad that I did this. I did learn some things about myself and to be honest just feel more comfortable in my own skin now.

The other reason that my jaw dropped was that like him I just so happened to visit Peachy on my first encounter. I had done some searching on the forums for recommendations and read various opinions on this topic. Now I'll admit that the timeline was decidedly more rushed, but I had done some soul searching before hand and had actually discussed this option with a trusted friend who I think of as a brother. I had started talking to Peachy the night before and exchanged a few messages but it wasn't until the next day that I finally decided to go through with it. What really made me feel like I was talking to the right person was her concern over whether I was ready or not. That really meant a lot to a guy in my situation and the fact that she put so much effort into making me feel comfortable helped more than I can describe. Would I, will I repeat, definitely, hopefully :) All I can say is thank you Peachy :)

To echo what both Peachy and Piano have said it is good to do some soul searching before hand. This route may not be for everyone but at the same time you shouldn't feel stigmatized either by going this route. One thing that made this easier for me was that one of my friends had actually gone this route and confessed that it had helped him and I have to agree with him. Also, read the recommendations on the ladies and get in touch with them. After that it's up to you to decide.

I also have to add that if I felt in anyway that these guys were not ready; I would have politely declined the invitation to entertain them. I would never want to emotionally hurt anyone. With these two guys it was exceptional situations in the fact that they both clearly knew what they wanted.

Just like Piano stated that he looks at this as a form of therapy. In these situations I look at it this way as well. It is a delicate situation and it should be treated as such. In this industry I'm sure sps deal with all kinds of situations that need a gentle touch. For instance I was entertaining a gentleman who lost his wife and didn't feel comfortable dating someone yet. We sat down and had a long conversation about this. We both were clear about boundaries and we were both clear about the direction in which the sessions would go.

So when people say that we are just sp's. No we are much more. We are friends, we are companions and in some cases we are therapists too.

I love that you were confident enough to tell us about your experience piano!!! Good for you for doing what you felt was right for you. It must feel great to have that "weight" lifted :)

Like Peachy, I've seen a couple of virgins, and as she said, "I also have to add that if I felt in anyway that these guys were not ready; I would have politely declined the invitation to entertain them. I would never want to emotionally hurt anyone.". I completely agree, and give her a big KUDO'S for seeing it that way and being so aboveboard about it.

You're both awesome !! :) :)

Piano's post has a lot in it, not just for virgins, but to anyone starting out in this hobby or even us veterans. Research, and think about why you're going down this road and what you hope to get out of it.

Once you start down this path it's hard to stop, but if approached with dignity, respect, and open-mindedness, it leads to a world of beauty and sensuality that many only dream about.

Thanks Piano .... Awesome post!

Like literally two hours ago, and it was great!

 

As of this morning, I was a 26 year old virgin. I never felt ashamed or unaccomplished being a virgin, I had reached this point as a choice. But I was not confident with intimacy, most if not all girls I've met have been pretty sexual or have a sexual past which always intimidated me (I never saw them lower, but felt a bit in awe). I avoided relationships because I was worried about the physical intimacy part, I was going to fall flat on my face. And I created this mind block.

 

I noticed a few threads on this forum about guys who are virgins looking for an SP, but there was no mention if they went through with it, and if they did, how they felt about it. So I thought I'd share for anyone who are in the same shoes I once was.

 

In a nutshell, I loved the experience, and I have no regrets. I got in touch with Peachy a week ago, and explained that I was a virgin, and that was something I wanted to change. She was incredibly thoughtful, and put me at ease with asking her to take me to the other side so to speak. I was nervous, actually, I was anxious for her to come. I booked 3 hours, and I asked her to stay an hour longer once she was here (I was having a great time and didn't want to rush it).

 

So my reasons for doing what I did.

 

1) I'm more confident with safety when it comes to the women here then the general public. If anyone knows about safety, these ladies do. This was my number one priority always (even before I came up with this idea)

 

2) I wanted a positive non-judgemental environment (at least in my mind). I didn't want to think and over think everything I did, and with her, I was more then comfortable. I was able to explore, try out stuff that I wouldn't have done with maybe a girl I was dating.

 

3) I was confident in asking her how I could be better. And I took everything she said constructively, and it was a lot better then I imagined!

 

4) Confidence! I met this girl a couple of months ago that seemed to be very interested. Back then, the old me kept things between us friendly but non-sexual. I think given the situation now, I'd act much differently. My confidence in this department took a massive beating the last couple of years for reasons too long and boring to share here. I feel as if one evening took all of that self doubt away.

 

 

Downsides?

I don't feel as if there were any. I don't feel any regret, or remorse or anything of that sort. I was hoping when I asked Peachy was that she be someone awesome (I've read some stories here about people having soso dates). Peachy was AMAZING in that she was so understanding about my fears, and newness. I bring this up because I found her through going through pages and pages of reviews. There are some awesome women here, but I found one with very complimentary reviews, and it worked for me.

 

Which I guess leads on to my next part. Would I recommend a virgin meet an SP? To each their own. I wrote down a list of reasons why this would be a good idea vs a list of why this was bad. My bad side of the list had some religious objections, but then the good side had religious support for getting help any way possible (my confidence was shot). There are some that say that this experience should be with someone special. And I think that applies for some people for sure, but I treated this as a learning/therapeutic visit more then anything else. The rate I was going, I was not going to be able to meet that someone special ever.

 

Recommendations:

1) Take your time, read reviews, talk to who you are interested in

2) Take your time, don't book just 1 hour. For the first two hours, we took it slow, talked a lot, and made it more intimate.

3) Figure out your reasons. I was brand new at this, and I think if this is your first time, trying to go into this to fulfil a fantasy might be putting too much pressure on you and her. Just explore the sensation, explore your body (I discovered things about my body I was pleasantly surprised about).

4) Tell her you're a virgin! And that's when you first get in touch with her, not when you meet.

 

I can't think of anything else. This being a recommendation board, this is mine :)

I concur on all points, especially regarding learning/therapeutic visits. The first few visits are for learning, then all the rest are reinforcement therapy!!

Wow, this has been a very helpful read. I am in same position as these 2 guys were and have been trying to get the courage to finally meet up with an sp in my area. After reading their experiences, I am even more confident to go through with it. Now if only Peachy would make it down to NB, I would be all set!

I also lost my virginity with an SP when i was 24.

I only had two gf before, one was a long-distance internet relation and the other we dated about 3 months before she kissed me for the first time (it was mostly a last test to see to make her mind about me)

I had been depressed for a few years cause i always had so much trouble finding someone to love and be loved back. So when i decided to see an SP, it was because i felt my virginity was just a burden and cause i wanted to remove all those interogations about sex, kissing, what to do, etc.

It wasn't perfect, mostly because there wasn't much chemistry between us and i told her half way through that i was a virgin. (she was worried she was doing something wrong to make me uncomfortable) But she was really friendly, gave me tips about girls in general during the break we took and was honnest.

For me, love as always been more important then sex. I still have problems finding someone, but at least the sex part doesn't complicate as much now. I'm not anxious about how it will unfold and if i'm in a period where i'm too horny, i can see someone instead of making bad decisions. =)

As someone who was a provider and lost his to his girlfriend, not the girl who I am currently in a relationship with, I have gently refused to take a girl's/woman's virginity on several occasions, not because I was unwilling to deal with it, did not want the business, etc, it was more that it was sort of forced upon me, like in the bedroom, at dinner, or a bar and I could never do so for a complete stranger regardless of the amount of money that was being offered.

If I know you well enough that I think it is approriate I will share in that experience as I know it is a lot for some to go through for both parties. Myself personally, it was awesome because I had never been with someone before turned out I was a natural and we had great sex for four hours and I never blew once but I know the opposite can be said about some girls and many guys, it just becomes too much to deal with and you don't know how to deal with it emotionally, which is why I refuse with strangers.

That being said to the OP, glad you had a great time and went about it in the right way and do not be self-conscious about performance in these type of situations to everyone else, I can attest I, along with many of the girls on here have had much worse than the genuine people on here. Plus, I know I learn something new in the bedroom every so often, I am sure the girls do too.

Piano, your post has given me hope. I honestly have a different issue, but I don't talk about it much. I lost my virginity at 16 to a friend's older sister (passionate, and wild, but emotionally unfulfilled at the end). 2 years ago, when I was a hothead of 17, I had a girlfriend who I often fucked, but without passion. It became robotic, almost making me tear my eyes out (thankfully, I never did, and i'm glad I didn't). I think I'm at the point where I have never truly felt the passion of a good time while attempting coitus. Your post has given me insight to where and what I should be thinking about. Pleasure may last a couple days, but the memories last for much longer.

I now realize, that seeing the experience of others, that CERB was a really good place to stumble upon at this point in my life. I'm single, somewhat unhappy (mostly due to pressures at school) and probably need therapy (for my year with the girlfriend I wasn't happy with), but I'd rather spend it on someone who can not only bring joy to my life, but also theirs.

Why would you guys who did this wait until you were 25+ to finally have sex? Why did you avoid it for all your younger years? Knowing what you know now wouldn't you have rather done it when you were much younger? Maybe when you turned eighteen? Why did you wait so long avoiding sex?

I am nineteen and in the same situation as you guys however I don't see why it would be beneficial to go the next six years without sex and then decide to do it in my mid twenties. According to most studies the negative health effects from virginity start taking place once you reach age 20 so I need to do it within the next year.

Piano, your post has given me hope. I honestly have a different issue, but I don't talk about it much. I lost my virginity at 16 to a friend's older sister (passionate, and wild, but emotionally unfulfilled at the end). 2 years ago, when I was a hothead of 17, I had a girlfriend who I often fucked, but without passion. It became robotic, almost making me tear my eyes out (thankfully, I never did, and i'm glad I didn't). I think I'm at the point where I have never truly felt the passion of a good time while attempting coitus. Your post has given me insight to where and what I should be thinking about. Pleasure may last a couple days, but the memories last for much longer.

 

I now realize, that seeing the experience of others, that CERB was a really good place to stumble upon at this point in my life. I'm single, somewhat unhappy (mostly due to pressures at school) and probably need therapy (for my year with the girlfriend I wasn't happy with), but I'd rather spend it on someone who can not only bring joy to my life, but also theirs.

:)

Good on you mate, glad I could have given you hope.

Why would you guys who did this wait until you were 25+ to finally have sex? Why did you avoid it for all your younger years? Knowing what you know now wouldn't you have rather done it when you were much younger? Maybe when you turned eighteen? Why did you wait so long avoiding sex?

 

I am nineteen and in the same situation as you guys however I don't see why it would be beneficial to go the next six years without sex and then decide to do it in my mid twenties. According to most studies the negative health effects from virginity start taking place once you reach age 20 so I need to do it within the next year.

I grew up Muslim. Still am, but I was much more religious at 19. And a rule in Islam is no premarital sex. I know how that seems to people here, but it was never a daunting thing for me. But after a really bad relationship of sorts, I came out on the other end really feeling crappy about my self image. And all of a sudden, sex became this big issue for me. I remember there being this awesome girl who showed some interest in me, and I ran from that situation. It was completely uncharacteristic of me, but I had started to build sex up way too much, and put too much pressure on the 'V' problem. (I started to see it as a problem too)

I'm not sure about those studies that you've mentioned, but do whatever you think is right for you. Like I said in my original post, I was able to do this without any of the pressures of having to impress someone, just let the session be about me exploring this entirely new world.

Another big factor in not doing it sooner, websites like Cerb either didn't exist or were not as prominent back when I was 18-19. There was less of an online presence by SPs. I found Cerb through an MA's website almost two years ago, and took another year to just convince myself to go for it. I must have spent hours reading this website for information, I can't tell you how lucky you are to have all of this available to you right now. Some older folk here used to rely on stuff like "newspapers" whatever those are.

I grew up Muslim. Still am, but I was much more religious at 19. And a rule in Islam is no premarital sex. I know how that seems to people here, but it was never a daunting thing for me. But after a really bad relationship of sorts, I came out on the other end really feeling crappy about my self image. And all of a sudden, sex became this big issue for me. I remember there being this awesome girl who showed some interest in me, and I ran from that situation. It was completely uncharacteristic of me, but I had started to build sex up way too much, and put too much pressure on the 'V' problem. (I started to see it as a problem too)

 

I'm not sure about those studies that you've mentioned, but do whatever you think is right for you. Like I said in my original post, I was able to do this without any of the pressures of having to impress someone, just let the session be about me exploring this entirely new world.

 

Another big factor in not doing it sooner, websites like Cerb either didn't exist or were not as prominent back when I was 18-19. There was less of an online presence by SPs. I found Cerb through an MA's website almost two years ago, and took another year to just convince myself to go for it. I must have spent hours reading this website for information, I can't tell you how lucky you are to have all of this available to you right now. Some older folk here used to rely on stuff like "newspapers" whatever those are.

HARAAM!!!!!

May Allah have mercy on your soul.

Only joking, but yes I completely understand where you are coming from. For me as well I feel as if I cannot form a relationship with a girl while having virginity. It would seem as if everything we do is just leading up to sex and she would have to be the teacher. Really awkward for any girl and females in general completely avoid dating male virgins. Woman want guys that have lots of sex, just simple psychology but they are attracted to the player and alpha male type. Furthermore girls tend not to be the ones to initiate sex or escalate so for a virgin it becomes an even more of an impossible task to get a girlfriend or have sex. Hence why virgins refer to it as "getting lucky" but sometimes you just got to make your own luck and that is what I am doing in my case. I wasn't lucky enough to get to have sex at 14/15 like most people and I don't want to wait for it to happen by chance when I am 20+

Why would you guys who did this wait until you were 25+ to finally have sex? Why did you avoid it for all your younger years? Knowing what you know now wouldn't you have rather done it when you were much younger? Maybe when you turned eighteen? Why did you wait so long avoiding sex?

 

I am nineteen and in the same situation as you guys however I don't see why it would be beneficial to go the next six years without sex and then decide to do it in my mid twenties. According to most studies the negative health effects from virginity start taking place once you reach age 20 so I need to do it within the next year.

I didn't have sex in my younger years cause I couldn't get it normaly. And for a long while, I really wanted my first time to be with someone I loved. After a very hard online breakup at 19, I opened to the idea of a one-night-stand or a fuck-buddie, but again I wasn't able to find one.

At 22, I got my first kiss after being with a girl for 3 months (then she broke up) That's when I decided to stop waiting. I needed confidence and to stop worrying about the sex part if I ever was to have a successful relationship.

Knowing the future, I probably would have done it sooner. But that's the thing, you never know. I didn't want to quit at just 18, then meet a girl 1-2 months later and have to tell her how my first was. Having had to wait 5 more years if the girl isn't okay with it, it's her problem.