Gfe vs safe gfe

Being a novice I first thought gfe meant an encounter where you would feel non-rushed and get your full time without the sp answering phone calls etc giving you her full attention. But from what I have read it also means bbbj and dfk two activities that carry some risk of contracting a Sti . From what I gather a safe gfe is the same as gfe except everything is covered and I am not sure about dfk or lfk. Is this risk of bbbj or dfk overblown by the medical establishment as I suspect it is?

If you want 100 percent guarantee of safe sex, then this is not the lifestyle for you. Yes, there are methods of risk reduction (ie condoms) but condoms can break or come off. Even in supposed monogamous relationships, well you only know for fact whether you are faithful (sorry, don't mean to use morally laden terms here, no one should judge another relationship), your partner, well you are taking his/her word he/she is faithful, and as we know, people don't always tell the truth. The only safe sex is, and not sounding glib, masturbation. And as one who had a dry spell (pre entering this lifestyle) well no companionship, no dates, it is far worse and empty than the possible risks of sti/std's. Just get tested regularly, you are responsible for your own sexual health. Now me, should I test positive, I would let the ladies I've seen know. Not because I'm passing judgement, or am angry, but because all of us, ladies and gentlemen alike, we all assume the same equal risks, and I would want the ladies I've seen get tested for their health's sake

Finally, don't ever pass judgement on what a lady offers in her encounters. What she feels comfortable offering as part of a encounter is her decision, and her's alone, it's not for guys to pass judgement or be morally indignant about...there's enough of that from mainstream society, don't need it coming from those partaking in this lifestyle

A rambling

RG

From what I gather a safe gfe is the same as gfe except everything is covered and I am not sure about dfk or lfk. My question is, I find it hard to believe that so many attractive intelligent Service Providers would engage in bbbj and dfk if there was a significant risk of an Sti, so what really is the risk? Is the risk taken because the risk of Hiv is low but other Sti's are treatable?

A GFE encounter whether SAFE or a TRUE GFE should be like being with your ideal girlfriend. (Relaxing, affectionate, fun and everything else a date should be)

 

Like anything in life there are risks, if you decide to hobby know that you are at risk for any act you indulge in - even hugging(pink eye can be spread that way).

Before you ask why a lady would offer anything that could risk her health, maybe you need to ask the men why they would indulge in an act that could risk theirs....

As Emily has stated so well already, GFE pertains to a style of encounter where affection and emotion are in play, as it would in a normal relationship, as opposed to PSE, where the physical aspect dominates.

You may want to know exactly what risks you are taking when engaging in a particular activity, but the fact is that nobody can tell you mathematically to any degree of accuracy. Yes, there are ladies that will offer the riskiest type of acts, even intercourse without a condom --madness, IMO--, but the rest of us 'sane' folk hope to God that clients that insist on that better not also see those that you and I see that do not offer this service, in order to protect their own health as well as that of all their clients. Well, one can only hope this is the case, and that the numbers of mad risk-takers are dwindlingly small.

Each person individually has to judge whether indulging in any specific activity is worth the risk of that activity. It is up to everyone in the community to safeguard the health of us all. Pardon me for playing the role of the proverbial wet blanket for a moment (we get enough fear-mongering on the news), but it bears saying at least once.

By all means, have fun out there, but don't ignore health concerns, and never ever question why a provider does not offer a specific service, and move on to someone that will happily oblige you. It is the right and responsibility of every provider to keep themselves... and by extension, YOU, safe from harm!

Ok, 'nuff said!

FR

Sorry I wasn't passing judgement on Service Providers and what they offer I was really asking if the risk of a Sti from these activities was overblown as sometimes the medical establishment say something when actually they are after zero risk and everything has some negligible risk.

I never got the impression that you were judging SPs for their choices, Newbie64. It's difficult to quantify, all one can really say is that unprotected vaginal sex and anal activity of any kind has a much higher risk of STI infection than most anything else. As for your question, bbbj and dfk seem to have a much lower relative risk, assuming one does not have breaks in the skin. One has to accept that there will always be some risk and the goal is to minimize it, or if one does not want to accept the risk, one should not be in this lifestyle.

FR

Well personally I want a safe gfe for the piece of mind, the sensation is only marginally different for me and a nice personality and smile is much nicer than that little bit of extra sensation.

Well personally I want a safe gfe for the piece of mind, the sensation is only marginally different for me and a nice personality and smile is much nicer than that little bit of extra sensation.

Very wise to keep to whatever you are comfortable with.

Of course you should really call it "safer" as opposed to "safe".

Well I'm in marketing and safer gfe wouldn't cut it as a slogan. 100% real juice is I think by law something like 70% juice.

Regardless of the acronym or marketing slogan decide the risk you are willing to take, if you are looking for 0 risk then don't have sex with anyone.

Acronyms are a necessary evil around here, maybe evil is too strong of a word but they are open to interpretation and can cause confusion, that's why it's best to contact a lady and discuss what you are looking for and see if she is for you. If the lady is not for you move on to someone else, there's something for everyone here (i think).

Thanks for the thread, it's made things a bit clearer on some of the terminology on here (gfe and safe), a bit confusing still for this newcomer, but hopefully discussing with some of the wonderful ladies on here will clarify what each of their takes on the issue is.

Thanks for the thread, it's made things a bit clearer on some of the terminology on here (gfe and safe), a bit confusing still for this newcomer, but hopefully discussing with some of the wonderful ladies on here will clarify what each of their takes on the issue is.

GFE = Girl Friend Experience (Does not mean certain services are include nor should be expected) it just means she offers a non mechanical experience (not a "get it done and over with" call) usually kissing but not always.

SAFE = Means Covered oral (CBJ as opposed to BBBJ) also it can imply no oral on her without dental dam or other protection (DATY) or other more safe practices are followed (You would want to clarify this with her if you have certain needs).

If they DO NOT say SAFE it still means a condom is used for sex... ALWAYS!

We do not allow people to seek out BBFS (Unprotected sex) on cerb nor do we allow anyone to advertise it. It is too high risk and people seeking this out puts other members at higher risk. Always assume a condom will be used for sex and never agree to do it without one for everyones safety including your own.

 

If they DO NOT say SAFE it still means a condom is used for sex... ALWAYS!

 

We do not allow people to seek out BBFS (Unprotected sex) on cerb nor do we allow anyone to advertise it. It is too high risk and people seeking this out puts other members at higher risk. Always assume a condom will be used for sex and never agree to do it without one for everyones safety including your own.

Great post, mod. This needs to be accentuated and you have done so!

I didn't mean to imply in my posting that any ladies of this board offer unsafe sex.

FR

Thanks for the clarification.

Cheers

TR

I am not a doctor, but it's my understanding that without sores or lesions within the mouth, that DFK is a low-risk activity. That said, if you require NO-risk sexual activity, there's phone sex and spankwire.

64 -- welcome and best wishes. To cut to the chase, safe GFE usually refers to CBJ vs BBBJ. However, GFE is ... As many have pointed out, GFE is more about a style of service than anything. Apples and oranges. Providers that state "Safe GFE" do so usually as a way to notify potential clients that BBBJ is not an option. On the other hand, providers that offer BBBJ will usually say so in their ad as its likely to result in more business.

There are a number of threads on Cerb about the pros and cons of BBBJ. If you are not comfortable with BBBJ, you can always ask a provider to just give you a CBJ. If you are looking for a BBBJ (sounds like you're not, but just in case), look for providers that advertise that. Never assume someone offering GFE is offering BBBJ or DFK for that matter.

Have fun!

Thanks good answer

If you want 100 percent guarantee of safe sex, then this is not the lifestyle for you. Yes, there are methods of risk reduction (ie condoms) but condoms can break or come off. Even in supposed monogamous relationships, well you only know for fact whether you are faithful (sorry, don't mean to use morally laden terms here, no one should judge another relationship), your partner, well you are taking his/her word he/she is faithful, and as we know, people don't always tell the truth. The only safe sex is, and not sounding glib, masturbation. And as one who had a dry spell (pre entering this lifestyle) well no companionship, no dates, it is far worse and empty than the possible risks of sti/std's. Just get tested regularly, you are responsible for your own sexual health. Now me, should I test positive, I would let the ladies I've seen know. Not because I'm passing judgement, or am angry, but because all of us, ladies and gentlemen alike, we all assume the same equal risks, and I would want the ladies I've seen get tested for their health's sake

Finally, don't ever pass judgement on what a lady offers in her encounters. What she feels comfortable offering as part of a encounter is her decision, and her's alone, it's not for guys to pass judgement or be morally indignant about...there's enough of that from mainstream society, don't need it coming from those partaking in this lifestyle

A rambling

RG

Well said, couldn't agree more

With regards to the actual act, GFE in my books would be anything "vanilla" as opposed to "fetish or kink". Vanilla usually means oral as well as vaginal intercourse. Fetish would mean any of the limitless kinks that get people off...perhaps a little more taboo. I would hope that "girl friends" are more adventurous than simply providing vanilla sex to their partners. But then again...that might cut into our business;)

I like going with what ever the lady or ladies like to do.

With regards to the actual act, GFE in my books would be anything "vanilla" as opposed to "fetish or kink". Vanilla usually means oral as well as vaginal intercourse. Fetish would mean any of the limitless kinks that get people off...perhaps a little more taboo.

Bear in mind, of course, that we all have different definitions of "vanilla" and "kinky" and "fetish". Sometimes they can be --very-- different.

It should perhaps also be mentioned that AFAIK most SPs who offer BBBJ will quite happily do CBJ if that's what you want - just ask them! Anyone who's very concerned about the risks of BBBJ should probably consider this as I'd imagine the whole thing would be far less pleasurable if you're spending it worrying about things.

Can a girlfrind these days not be kinky? Not sure why anoyone would assume that...

These are terms referring to style (not services)

Styles...

1) mecanical (just get the job one, no chemistry, no real fantasy or intimacy beyond getting the deed done)

2) GFE = Girl Friend Experience (friendly, attempt to stir up some chemistry and you can usually expect a more intimate and sexy encounter. Often kissing, touching, flirting. Not a clock watcher or rushed, etc)

3) PSE = Porn Star Experience (basically what you see in the hardcore movies, stuff like dirty talk, harder sex and more will most likely be offered )

4) dom = Domination (kinky. Chains whips, paddles, etc...)

5) sub = Submissive (will allow somone to domnate her, restrain/tie, whip, spank, etc... May be offered)

6) switch = comfortable as a dom or sub

Hope that helps To assume anything more then above will probably cause you problems,