Noob Question: SP's contacting clients etiquette?

Before proceeding, I would like to note: If the SP I am referring to happens to see this post, please don't take it as a personal slam against you; I'm merely posting this here because I thought it might make a imformative topic of discussion amongst both SP's and hobbyists.

My question is what is, or should be, the etiquette used by SP's when contacting clients? The reason I ask is that I recieved a text message earlier from a provider that I had a session with last week, informing me that she had a great night with me and she is hoping to do it again sometime.

This strikes me as a little rude, risky and invasive. For all she might know, I have a wife or SO to whom I'm now having to make up some story as to who's texting me and why. This SP and I have only had a couple of sessions together, and I have not given much details of my personal life, so it's a little dangerous to my privacy or/and personal well-being for her to assume anything. Shouldn't the old adage, "Don't call us, we'll call you," apply in cases like this? I should add: I'm not angered by this matter, just concerned, really.

On the other hand, I can understand SP's texting me an hour or so before a scheduled session to confirm that we're still on for our appointment; so that she can avoid getting prepared for an encouter that--for whatever reason--might not take place after all. It just so happens that this situation occured with another SP just yesterday too. She texted to ask if I was coming over, and the appointment I had made with her was for the next night (today), actually. Just a little mix-up in communications is all. It happens--we all make mistakes, we're all only human--we sorted the matter out and things are back on course, happily.

Still, the questions remain: should the hobbyist set boundaries with the provider with regards to how she may contact him, and in what manner should he go about it? I'm thinking straight-forwardness is the key, and that during the initial contact the client should pollitely advise her, if he so requires, to only contact him by text/email/private message/carrier pigeon during certain times (if that also applies), according to what is most convienient for him.

Do SP's find this rude, or that it makes things too complicated, and so are likely to just turn down the requested appointment instead? Or do you accept it as a necessary fact of the nature of the business that a certain amount of discretion is necessary and required? Or, rather, do you appreciate if as much detail regarding the encounter is established beforehand, to avoid any potential problems? Any advice from you ladies, and the gentlemen who have dealt with these situations before, would be much welcomed.

Thank you.

I'd say it's the client's job to specify if he doesn't want to be texted/called/etc or any other specifics.

Just like some SP mention in there adds to not call them just text, or not contact them during X to X of the day.

Basically, the one with something to hide should tell the other of the specifics. Be it the client or the SP.

Well... yes. This seems risky.

If a call/email is required at a particular time to confirm an appointment, then that's fine; presumably the client can arrange to be able to take the call/email. As for random communications... in the absence of any other information, I'd have thought this was a bad idea.

Of course, this sort of thing is also why it's a good idea to have a completely separate phone and email for CERB-related activities. You don't turn on the phone or check the email until/unless it's safe to do so. Problem solved! And since that's what I do, I'm quite happy for ladies I know to drop me an email or text to say Hi if they feel so inclined (and very flattered when they do, for that matter :) ). Although if it's a text, it might take me a week or three to see it... but that's just me, and the way I operate. It doesn't apply to everyone.

Always have a Hobby phone that you can put away somewhere and keep it wiped clean of all texts. Get a used smart phone with a sim card that you can swap out with a private number. This is when pay as you go comes into play.

I'll confess I'm on the fence here

On one hand it would be reasonable to assume that a gentleman has a phone used exclusively for this lifestyle. A married guy using a cell phone for this lifestyle, that he shares with his wife is just IMHO asking for trouble. One piece of advice, get a phone ONLY YOU USE FOR THIS LIFESTYLE, and no one else has access to it

On the other hand, if he didn't expressly say it was ok for the lady to contact him, out of prudence she shouldn't.

But, here I am fence sitting again :-), he should, as a precaution, have told her not to contact him.

Under no circumstances IMO, should either a SP or Gentleman phone one another unless it is prearranged. You never know who the SP or Gentleman is with when you phone, at least with a text you can answer at your convenience

In short, I'd say a bit of shared responsibility based on what was posted

My humble opinion

RG

No, I DEFINITELY do NOT think the hobbyist should EVER, under ANY circumstance, have to tell the SP not to contact him as the SP should ALREADY know that that is NOT okay!! Obviously, there are cases like you stated; confirming, texting right after to say thank you or if he forgot something there etc but this is far from what has happened, giving it was a WEEK later so There is NO excuse! Even if the man mentions at one point in conversation that he is single(which in this case he did NOT which baffles me even more) you never really truly know what he has going on, and an SP as a professional(well we hope that she would be) shhe should never feel the need to 'casually' text for a session, no matter how nicely she words it. It is obvious to us all that she was in need of money, and that is very selfish behaviour to put another human being at risk, I have seen women who are so insecure they get mad for no reason let alone a girl texting 'that was great come back real soon'. I am sure she very well knew the risk. Asking a hobbyist to come see you instead of the other way around definitely defeats the whole 'mysterious' purpose of being an SP. Yes I am only human, as all are of us, so I have definitely experienced being broke after paying all my bills a couple of times but still!! There are LOTS of ways for an SP to be creative and post an ad offering fun specials or whatever floats her boat(it really confuses me as to why a female sp would text a week later). If in this case the SP did and that still did not work for her, her actions at the end of the day made it even worse because now I am sure she lost a potential repeat hobbyist, which seems like is not in her favour.

Sheikyerboot you, however, aced this and handled this situation very well. Just by this post it is clear you are a good guy, you definitely could have freaked out and made a big drama out of it, but by you posting this very sincere and genuinely, it goes to show that being sweet and nice people mistake that for weakness(whether or not that happened in this case) it is her loss and lesson learned!

My question is what is, or should be, the etiquette used by SP's when contacting clients? The reason I ask is that I recieved a text message earlier from a provider that I had a session with last week, informing me that she had a great night with me and she is hoping to do it again sometime.

 

 

 

Still, the questions remain: should the hobbyist set boundaries with the provider with regards to how she may contact him, and in what manner should he go about it? I'm thinking straight-forwardness is the key, and that during the initial contact the client should pollitely advise her, if he so requires, to only contact him by text/email/private message/carrier pigeon during certain times (if that also applies), according to what is most convienient for him.

Thank you.

Yes set boundaries absolutely ! Be honest and straightforward in regards to this...as is the lady in the same regards. It really is no big deal....What works for one is not necessarily good for another. I prefer texts as opposed to emails and I use my personal phone so obviously I place a high level of trust in who I visit with. and yes yes I am nuts... My point is be upfront and all will be good.

The ladies will actually appreciate knowing your preferred choice of contact and your taboo choice of contact.

I agree that one shouldn't have to tell a SP not to contact you. This should go without saying.

However, it is still prudent to take precautions. Mistakes do happen, and sometimes a text is not at all intended to be an intrusion to your privacy.

If you don't have a separate hobby phone (highly recommended) at least be sensible. I used to have a separate phone, but it died and I haven't replaced it. So I am very careful. If you get lots of texts and calls from work you can probably safely cover for anything that comes in. I don't, so it would be very odd for me to receive a text when I'm at home. The people I text are usually my family. So if I'm with them, it would be strange and raise eyebrows.

So you need the cover story. Of course, Rogers and other cell providers do send unsolicited texts selling things and promoting their services. That's always a good cover. I do get telemarketers calling my cell from time to time (we all know that obnoxious cruise ship horn). I don't leave my phone lying around, it is generally always on my person. If it's charging I leave it in the case so the screen is covered. That way a text doesn't pop up for all to see. And, I turn it to silent when I'm at home. That way, any unwanted or unanticipated phone call or text will not be noticed.

But, in general ... It's better to use a separate hobby phone. Might pop out today and replace mine.

Porthos

For me if I was to receive a text I would not care. However I am single so it doesn't matter.

I don't believe a SP should be texting someone without having talked to the person beforehand and knowing it is ok with the person. Since a lot of others are not in my situation, discretion is an important part of the business relationship between client and SP. As a client I am asked to be discrete when going to a SPs incall so as not to draw attention or cause and issues for here. The same thing has to be returned to the client by the SP. In this case it would mean not contacting them unless they know it is not a problem for the client.

when most of my contact was by email my standard response was always... "If i miss your call, a return call is made only at your request." this applies to before or after an encounter, even if i miss a call by minutes and the number is on my display or if a call gets cut off, someone may have walked into a room or office etc. however now most of my contact is through text messages and i am not always available when they come through, i ask that the gentleman lets me know if they require an immediate response or if i may text back as soon as i can.

there are situations i can't always answer a call or text so why would i assume someone contacting me can. mutual respect goes a very long way to establishing happy encounters

This only happened with one SP who I saw repeatedly and it didn't bother me though I was single and had a good relationship her ... she knew that I didn't regard it as intrusive but that was because I had told her as much. It would have been quite different if I had to keep things hidden from a partner or was using a work related phone ...

Texting or calling would have the same effect on me: a real turn off and a breach of rule number 1: discretion.

PMs through CERB, and I meet only ladies from this wonderful community of CERB, would be the most efficient and appreciated way to contact me.

Email. That's all I have to say.

The underlying question is what is she doing keeping your phone number to begin with? Otherwise she wouldn't be able to txt you. Not good.

As much as I enjoy keeping in contact, these types of conversations should only occur, if at all, through cerb pm or through another private e-mail account you have established.

An SP may only require your email address (hotmail, gmail) to communicate with you until the last hour when you can use pay phones to make the final arrangements. It is your choice whether or not to give an SP your phone number. Personally, I would walk away if one demanded any form of identification other than an online email account.

Percy

An SP may only require your email address (hotmail, gmail) to communicate with you until the last hour when you can use pay phones to make the final arrangements. It is your choice whether or not to give an SP your phone number. Personally, I would walk away if one demanded any form of identification other than an online email account.

 

Percy

Percy I think you might be doing a lot of walking. There is no security for the SP with only having an online email address of a person. These are easy for people to obtain with no verification.

I personally have no issue with giving out a phone number (or a variety of other identifying and potentially harmful information), but I really would like some sort of statement from the SP I'm seeing about how long the information I'm giving her for screening/contact purposes is kept, how it will be used, and when it will be discarded.

I personally have no issue with giving out a phone number (or a variety of other identifying and potentially harmful information), but I really would like some sort of statement from the SP I'm seeing about how long the information I'm giving her for screening/contact purposes is kept, how it will be used, and when it will be discarded.

Some discuss this sort of thing on their websites. If you're seeing someone who doesn't, you can always ask.