femdom as Therapy?

Hello everyone. I would like to have a discussion about service providers also providing therapy for their clients as in taking on the role as psychologist to help their clients improve who they are as human beings. I myself need to become more assertive and thought tthat I might be able to be helped by a dom to become a better person. Do you think this might be possible?

Hi, DBDB,

I saw this thread and jumped on it. I love talking about the dynamics of dominance and submission (so appologies if this gets a little long).

A lot of people use bdsm as a way to safely process and come to terms with taumatic experiences in their pasts, or to face specific fears in a controlled environment. Likewise, it's not uncommon for someone to turn to a professional domme (or a professional sub) when they need a confessor - someone who will hear their darkest secrets and not vilify them for what they want or need. So, from that angle, femdomme as therapy is not unusual at all.

In long-term D/s relationships (at least as far as I'm concerned), it's the duty of the dominant to guide her submissive towards becoming his/her best self -- just as it's the duty of the submissive to smooth the way for the dominant in order that she, too, can be her best self. It's a beautiful, symbiotic relationship. :-)

I think, in a shorter-term, professional D/s relationship this would also be possible, particularly if the client approached his dominant in a way that was up-front about his goals and his need for her guidance.

With regards to your specific question about assertiveness, DBDB, you might be better off engaging a professional submissive.

While engaging with any SP requires that you know your own desires and be able to communicate them effectively, a professional dominant would (I suspect - pro-dommes, feel free to chime in here) be the right choice if you needed to become more attentive to, and aware of, the needs and wants of others. If you want to practice being assertive, there is nothing in this world like being in charge of someone else's actions to teach you the clear, direct communication skills, follow-up practices, planning, and consideration that it takes to be assertive - to be the Boss - outside the bedroom.

That's my thought on the subject, at least. I hope that there are a few professional submissives (and professional dominants) reading this who will also contribute to the thread. :-)

- Tess.

Hi dbdb,

I'd like to second what Tess said about finding someone who's a pro sub. Confidence and assertiveness can be built with small successes, a sub can give you these two things and if they know their stuff gently help guide your direction.

Please note that I'm not suggesting that you find someone you can hit with a rideing crop. I'm suggesting that that you find a sub who will take your direction, hand over control and make you feel powerfull.

With respect, Kay