New and nervous!

Hi, I am extremely new to this world and I have a few questions.

I have been having issues with dating for a long time now and I am not exactly attractive either, I don't know if there's "proper" reasons for requesting a service.

The complete truth is I have been pretty lonely and never got a really hot girl to be attracted to me, is this a normal reason for requesting a service?

I feel that I would be too shy and feel bad for the woman if she isn't attracted to me? Is that normal?

I'm very worried, of course, about legal stipulations and what not. I will rummage through the site to find answers as well but these are more questions need opinions and answers at the same time I think.

A lot of the MA/SP mentions in thread like this that they don't care what you look like, as long as you have good hygiene, are nice and act like a gentleman.

As for your reasons, I'd say they are pretty good. I saw my first SP cause I also had problems with dating (only managed to get kissed once, after 3 months!) It definitively made me more confident and better with myself. And I got to see what I've been missing for so long.

Don't hesitate to tell the lady you'll be contacting that you're shy and it's your first time with an SP. Most of them are very good at making you comfortable.

For the legal stuff, lots of great info on this site!

Everyone has their own reasons for seeking the company of an SP. And that reason is the proper reason to see a professional companion, with the caveat that you are always a gentleman, and respect all of the lady's boundaries.

Remember that SP's are professional companions, what is important to the lady is she is seeing a gentleman, good hygiene, pays in full etc. She would much rather see a gentleman who isn't good looking rather than see someone who looks like he should be on the cover of GQ, but has absolutely no respect for ladies. In short, your character counts a lot. That's coming from a guy who's overweight, bald,oops political correct term folliclly challenged, wears glasses and is in his 50's

If your shy just tell the lady when you contact her so she knows. Also tell her it's your first time. BTW once you commit to an encounter, no matter how nervous you get, carry through with the encounter, don't back out.

A few ramblings

Good luck and have fun

RG

The complete truth is I have been pretty lonely and never got a really hot girl to be attracted to me, is this a normal reason for requesting a service?

 

I feel that I would be too shy and feel bad for the woman if she isn't attracted to me? Is that normal?

I think you're a perfectly normal client and can look forward to some great sessions. A few things I'd recommend to keep in mind as you move forward:

- the SP is a professional and her aim is to see that you enjoy yourself. Don't spend any energy wondering "does she think I'm sexy?" or looking for that kind of judgement or validation. Simply go, be as honest and straightforward and open to the experience as you can be, treat your companion with respect and kindness, and enjoy yourself.

- since the encounter is free from the need to worry about "does she think I'm hot?", use the opportunity to experience what's possible once that question is out of the way. Talk to your SP, explain your interests and even your anxieties... but not for TOO long. You want to move from the "talking" to "doing" so that you can experience some of the things you've wondered about.

- the SP is going to look past your nervousness and self-consciousness. She's not there on a date with you, she's there to provide an experience. Enjoy yourself fully, and take the knowledge and experience you gain from an understanding SP, and carry that into your everyday life to make yourself more confident next time you're on a date.

You're one of the luckiest men in the world: you have the wonderful women of CERB ready to meet and guide you a little way along your personal journey. Clean yourself up nicely, pick a lady that interests you, e-mail or PM her and explain your interests and concerns, and go from there. If you arrive clean from tip to toe, treat her honestly and respectfully, and let her lead when you need it, you'll have a wonderful time.

Good luck! And have lots and lots of fun.

I won't repeat the already great information that others have already given you, but I do want to say the fact that you found your way to CERB already puts you ahead.

This isn't to say there aren't many fabulous people on other sites, but as a relative newcomer here myself I can tell you there's no better place than CERB for getting information, talking with some witty and intelligent people, and basically being surrounded by everything that's positive in this business.

I count myself lucky that when I finally worked up the nerve to contact a service provider for the first time she was all one could hope for: understanding of my own first-time jitters, easy conversationalist, and yes--incredibly sexy. I got an education in more ways than one, and it was part of a conversation with her which eventually helped me find my way here.

I'll end by saying take your time to read through the "new to this" threads. There's a lot there but it's great information. I won't say "don't be nervous" because I know that such is impossible advice at this point, but feel OK knowing that nervousness is normal and as long as you respect boundaries you'll have no reason to feel ashamed.

Hi, I am extremely new to this world and I have a few questions.

 

I have been having issues with dating for a long time now and I am not exactly attractive either, I don't know if there's "proper" reasons for requesting a service.

 

The complete truth is I have been pretty lonely and never got a really hot girl to be attracted to me, is this a normal reason for requesting a service?

 

I feel that I would be too shy and feel bad for the woman if she isn't attracted to me? Is that normal?

 

I'm very worried, of course, about legal stipulations and what not. I will rummage through the site to find answers as well but these are more questions need opinions and answers at the same time I think.

There is no such thing as a proper reason for requesting service, if you want to engage one of the many wonderful ladies out there that provide a service, do so. If there was anything that I would define as a proper reason to be intimate with a provider it would be because I want to be.

Do not fret if you are good looking or not attractive, you will be undertaking in an experience. I have had providers in the past ask me why I am seeing them as they have been blunt in saying that I am way too good looking to be doing this. My thought process has always been this, while I may be good looking or may not be, one does not go to the dentist to get their back fixed, you go to a chiropractor. If you want to have a memorable intimate encounter, find a service provider, they are the best at what they do and care nothing for your looks as their job description if exactly the same as the job name. If you have an itch, scratch it my friend.

While obviously you do not get to keep them after the encounter, as they are not there to be your girlfriend, they are a companion, many of the girls on here from what I have gathered enjoy chatting with their clients in the side, partake in social media, some even are willing to see you outside if you manage to click. While the latter may not be the norm, feel free to chat with people on here.

As stated above, do not worry about not being good looking or never having an attractive female be interested in you. In time you will build your confidence and this will in turn attract other females to you.

Do not feel bad about being shy, just be forward with whomever you are seeing and they will gladly chat with you, talk you through it over the phone, through PMs, text, chatting on here. There is also a community here that is very unique and not seen on many other review boards, if you have questions or concerns ask. Shoot me a PM and I will do my darndest to help you out.

In terms of legal concerns, if you have any, many of us have being doing this for many years, the laws are bery friendly towards those of us who provide nowadays and to those who enjoy the services. If you think you are going to be a part of some entrapment, sting operation or anything of the sort, don't. You will be fine. Picking a girl from here and seeing her is safer and more fun than driving a convertible with the roof down.

Very awesome answers, i feel a lot more confident already. One other thing though that I would love to hear about from both clients and SPs alike. What about emotion? How do either of you deal with either party becoming emotionally attached to the other? These are of course very personal moment you share with eachother.

Very awesome answers, i feel a lot more confident already. One other thing though that I would love to hear about from both clients and SPs alike. What about emotion? How do either of you deal with either party becoming emotionally attached to the other? These are of course very personal moment you share with eachother.

That's where you come in. You have to understand the difference between a professional encounter and an encounter with someone with whom you have built a bond.

It's easy to develop an emotional attachment to people with whom you have exposed yourself physically. It's absolutely okay to like them, hell, even love them BUT you have to go in with the proviso that this is a professional situation.

If needs be, think of it this way. When you go into a tremendously frightening movie, you give yourself the affirmation "this is only a movie, it's not real." It's mental trickery, but it works. An encounter is much the same thing. You enjoy the benefits of a physical relationship with someone you enjoy, but at the end of the session you part as a customer and she as a provider. It was a transaction.

Hope this helps!

Very awesome answers, i feel a lot more confident already. One other thing though that I would love to hear about from both clients and SPs alike. What about emotion? How do either of you deal with either party becoming emotionally attached to the other? These are of course very personal moment you share with eachother.

First it is OK IMHO if you like the lady you are seeing, and she likes you. But remember this isn't a conventional date, the lady is a paid companion.

There is nothing wrong with that btw, but always keep it in mind. Only so you don't mistake normal SP/Client activities as a conventional date with a girlfriend, and so you don't confuse liking the companion you are seeing with love.

I say this because of what you said about being shy, and not dating. If you find yourself developing real feelings (love) for the lady, I strongly suggest stop seeing her, and see another lady. In fact one of the benefits of this lifestyle is it's poly amorous nature. You can see more than one lady. And seeing more than one lady will help keep everything in perspective. And ask yourself this question if you really think your in love "would she see me in a unpaid conventional date"

I myself have been lucky enough to meet a couple of ladies that I don't just like, but consider friends. But I still see other companions, and don't confuse friendship with anything more. And I know friendship aside, I still have to pay the lady for her time.

Just don't read more into an encounter than there is. It is a escape for whatever time you book with a professional companion

Good Luck

RG

Confidence plays a big role when it comes to this sort of things. Whether you decide to go for a service like this, or just in general dating. To be honest, it was a factor with me.

I didn't specifically go for finding a hot girl to be with, I went in to this because it was the most pressure free way to just have some fun. No stress about worrying if I'm good enough, doing the right thing. What eventually happened is that I've enjoyed each experience more than the previous one, I'm more confident, able to take charge, and most importantly, stop being so hard and critical of myself.

If you do go through with it, be the kindest version of you possible. Be a gentleman. Just because money is exchanging hands does not lower the value of what you want the experience to be.

As for the legal stuff, I was terrified in the beginning, so I can somewhat relate. But you're in a safe place here, and like you said, read, there is a lot on this forum.

What about emotion? How do either of you deal with either party becoming emotionally attached to the other? These are of course very personal moment you share with each other.

That's a really good question. Chances are, it's going to come up so it's wise to prepare yourself.

If you are getting along well with an SP, you'll be sharing some very intimate moments and it's perfectly natural to develop some real affection. But as others have said, the responsibility is on you to keep your feelings in check and remember that this is a professional engagement.

(This will be good training for you, since SPs aren't the only case where you need your brain to exert some control over your heart, or else risk making some terrible life decisions. Your feelings are important, but they aren't your exclusive master.)

Think of your time with an SP as you might some time with, say, a psychotherapist. You'll be dealing with intimate subjects and in the case of the SP there's some intimate touch. But no matter how much a therapist might legitimately care for you, you wouldn't ask her out or confuse her with a friend or lover. Keep your head on the same way regarding SPs. Just don't clamp down so hard on your feelings that you can't relax and honestly enjoy the time you spend together. Learn to enjoy the feelings that come with intimacy, and yet keep them within healthy boundaries, and you're all set.

I feel that I would be too shy and feel bad for the woman if she isn't attracted to me? Is that normal?

Awe honey! everyone is attractive in their own unique way. Don't forget that service providers may feel the same as you do also. We are only human. Just have fun XOXO

To Kandie:

Well see, the reason I asked that question especially is because you always see those really gross, fat, foul mouthed rich guys on TV. I have no relevance to these people but the point is that I would feel horrible if the SP is like "Crap, I gotta deal with this guy?!" or something like that. I feel a lot more comfortable now that I have been sharing my thoughts on this site though!

good luck, please let us know how your experience was

Glad I stumbled on this post.I was going to start one along similar lines, about how to deal with my own insecurities if and when I decide to finally see an SP. Some great advice and information in this thread.

But I need to ask another question (purely hypothetical of course ;) ) : what if you are insecure about the size of your "little guy" ? I know whenever I imagine myself getting intimate with someone I always start thinking "man, what if every other guy she's been with has been hung like Ron Jeremy?" It may sound stupid, but it gets me thinking (or over-thinking, as I sometimes tend to do) on a certain path, which brings up a whole bunch more things to worry about. I know people will say SP's are paid companions, they won't judge you that way, etc, etc, but what if it persists? Is it something you should bring up before hand with your SP of choice, or do you keep silent? ( I will say that I have no idea if I am average, below average, above or whatever, but regardless of that I still have my insecurities. I mean "my friend" still does, since this was hypothetical ;) )

Glad I stumbled on this post.I was going to start one along similar lines, about how to deal with my own insecurities if and when I decide to finally see an SP. Some great advice and information in this thread.

 

But I need to ask another question (purely hypothetical of course ;) ) : what if you are insecure about the size of your "little guy" ? I know whenever I imagine myself getting intimate with someone I always start thinking "man, what if every other guy she's been with has been hung like Ron Jeremy?" It may sound stupid, but it gets me thinking (or over-thinking, as I sometimes tend to do) on a certain path, which brings up a whole bunch more things to worry about. I know people will say SP's are paid companions, they won't judge you that way, etc, etc, but what if it persists? Is it something you should bring up before hand with your SP of choice, or do you keep silent? ( I will say that I have no idea if I am average, below average, above or whatever, but regardless of that I still have my insecurities. I mean "my friend" still does, since this was hypothetical ;) )

I read somewhere that in Manhattan during the 20s, the rich were obsessed with building the tallest tower. Basically, it's "mine's bigger then yours".

We do live in a society which praises large penises (never mind that a good number of women might find it painful, a large dick is a trophy that you carry around), large boobs, hairless chests (on guys), a healthy head of hair, and the list goes on.

Treat an escort well, with respect and kindness and a good escort will make you feel fan-fucking-tastic. Give a choice between a douchebag sporting a Ron Jeremy sized dick, and a nice guy who is below average, she's going to pick the latter any day of the week. I had my own set of insecurities before. And I can't say I let them go immediately, but after a few visits, those insecurities stopped being important to me. Don't let this penis size issue worry you too much. And if you feel conscious about it, listen carefully to anything she says when you go down on her, and learn how to give great massages. There are many ways to please a lady then having a large member.

Relax, have fun, be happy. Repeat.

But I need to ask another question (purely hypothetical of course ;) ) : what if you are insecure about the size of your "little guy" ? I know whenever I imagine myself getting intimate with someone I always start thinking "man, what if every other guy she's been with has been hung like Ron Jeremy?"

I don't think this is worth worrying about. I'm a very long way from being an expert on this, but I get the impression that there's not as much variation as some would have you believe, and that no matter how big (or small) you are the lady you're with has probably seen bigger (or smaller).

In any case, she's sure as hell not going to say anything that you might not like if she's even remotely professional. Unless, of course, you request it...

A fantastic thread, thanks everyone for your contributions! As a newbie, it's good to know of these emotional possibilities and how to keep them in check. I hope to be able to get to the point of not only being able to share intimacy but also be able to attain that same feeling at an emotional level during the time you are with the MP/SP...ok not sure if I'm expressing myself properly but for me it's not just about 'the release', or sex but everything else leading up to and after that point.

A big thank you to all the ladies for allowing us this experience of bliss.

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