Stripper take-out Etiquette

Got a little dilemma, need some assistance. I've recently made plans to "get together" outside of the club for a little "fun" ;) with one of the girls I regularly see. Problem being, the subject of price never came up, so I don't know if this is a social "Get together" or a professional one. I'm afraid to come right out and ask for fear of offending her and ruining my chances of having an amazing time with a REAL hottie. On the other hand, I don't want to get there in the heat of the moment, with my clothes half off and have her give me that "you have to pay me first" look which would just create a whole lot of awkwardness and ruin the whole experience. Any advice on how one approaches such a situation?

Hey Castle_79

Here is my take on the etiquette. A "get together" is just that, getting together outside of the club. A wise stripper once told me...well it was a few weeks ago, but she was/is still a pretty smart cookie, strippers justify their work as "acceptable" to them because it doesn't involve sex for money. I would strongly suggest that you do not bring it up, because you may offend her and ruin an otherwsie very pleasant evening. On the other hand, since you are willing and able then you won't be taken off guard if she does bring it up. The likelihood is that this would come up before any clothes go flying, avoiding any possible embarassing situation.

Yeah it's tricky. I would say it depends....Strippers I've met right after the club and taken to a hotel want money. One girl when asked said..."well I'd like to go on a date with you and get to know you, see how we get along." I think that was a non-pay for time response.

Castle I think you know what you have to do. You obviously do not want any awkwardness and it sounds like it was you that initiated the meeting so you must ask the question of donation not at the meeting but prior. You dilemma suggests neither of you communicated about this aspect so you may be have different expectations. To ensure you're on the same page you (as the client) have to do the wise thing, raise the subject and be prepared to either go through with the date or call it off.

Sounds like you're looking for more than the strip club experience. If all you wanted was the strip club experience, you can get that in the club. Requesting more or expecting more, I believe one must communicate and compensate appropriately.

Castle I think you know what you have to do. You obviously do not want any awkwardness and it sounds like it was you that initiated the meeting so you must ask the question of donation not at the meeting but prior. You dilemma suggests neither of you communicated about this aspect so you may be have different expectations. To ensure you're on the same page you (as the client) have to do the wise thing, raise the subject and be prepared to either go through with the date or call it off.

 

Sounds like you're looking for more than the strip club experience. If all you wanted was the strip club experience, you can get that in the club. Requesting more or expecting more, I believe one must communicate and compensate appropriately.

Actually she initiated, we were sitting having a drink and chatting when she suggested we get together sometime soon, so I said "sure, when do you have in mind?" and went from there and got her e-mail address, etc. It wasn't until after I left the club that it occured to me that price was never discussed. I'll probably just bring it up, I figure considering the nature of the place where we know each other from, it probably shouldn't come as too much of a shock to her that I'm asking about price, even if that's not what she's looking for.

Hi Castle

Your concern is certainly a valid one. Discussions with some of the dancers that I know have indicated that business is somewhat slow with the economic times. As a result, many of the ladies are supplementing their income with "working outside of the club". Although this may not be the case in your situation, it's always wise to plan ahead!

My suggestion would be that you contact the lady prior to your evening out and whilst confirming pick up times, location etc. simply ask " do I need to bring anything"?

I believe that if the dancer is looking for reimbursement for her time she will take advantage of the opportunity and direct you accordingly. If, (and cross your fingers here, ha ha), she is simply looking for an evening out with "no strings attached" then she will reply with either "no" or "what do you mean"? At that stage of the conversation, you could simply respond with "I like to bring present my date with flowers ....what kind do you like"?

If the issue arises later in the evening, you can remind her of your earlier discussion and remain confident that you did inquire as best you could while maintaing the degree of respect that she deserves.

You will, of course, need to ensure that you do have enough funds on you to cover any "unforseen situations".

Anyway...my 3 cents (adjusted for inflation). Trust that you have a good time!

I still say that you should play it cool. The risk is that you will offend her and lose the trust that you have built. Since you mention that she initiated (she made the offer), my take on this is that if she was doing it because business is slow, then it would have been mentioned or she would have insinuated it somehow. Let's not forget that she is used to dealing with offers for take-out and probably gets them every day or so. I do like the suggestion of asking if you should be bringing something as it is an opportunity to for her to bring it up. Good luck...you lucky bastard!

I have had a few relationships (5 or 6) with girls from strip clubs.

If I met them for dinner before work, I treated for dinner, and then joined them at work where I paid as normal.

If I met them for lunch I treated, and no money passed.

If I took them somewhere (like the races) where they always wanted to go, I treated, but no money passed.

If they planned to work, and I wanted a different evening, I usually gave them $200, and treated for the evening.

I'd suggest a way to deal with your situation is when planning your evening is to ascertain "Is that your night off" and if so, treat it exactly like a normal date.

Good luck,

in my limited experience (a few occasions) with girls outside the club, never have i been asked to pay for anything (though i might treat them to a nice dinner or something). Everyone is different, but to me if the girl intiated the idea and does not discuss money, it would be dishonest for her to bring it up in the middle of a date. Not to mention it would be a risk to her to expect money without establishing that she wanted some compensation beforehand (she may go home empty handed). If a girl did this to me (asked to be compensated for her time without establishing so beforehand), I would tell her that I am not interested in spending my time with someone this way and that I'm afraid I will not see her again. Unless it is discussed, i don't believe there should be any expectation of payment. (That said, everyone is different and I can't rule out that there are a few girls who would try this on a date outside the club.. )

I do believe most girls would mention it prior to the date... for example, a friend of mine recently made plans with a dancer and at the very end of the phone call, she mentioned that she would need to be paid for her time. At that point, he immediately called the date off...

I've never paid a stripper for sex although one asked me once recently for $ and I got the hell out of there :?

As a guy who's had many strippers I have the following questions for you:

1. Did she tell you her real name?

2. Did she give you HER phone number?

3. Did she, or will she provide you with her address? (i.e. pick her up for your date or better yet, your date is at her place...lol! Have fun dude!

4. Did she give you free dances?

If you can answer three out of four as yes... don't bring any cash except to pay for whatever you're doing (i.e. dinner, drinks, naked skydiving, naked bungee cord jumping lol!)

If you want to risk losing out ask her about sex and money... it will end it I promise!

In my experience, and I know things are changing, dancers and SP's are different... as mentioned though, "the times they are a changing"...

Roam

My suggestion would be that you contact the lady prior to your evening out and whilst confirming pick up times, location etc. simply ask " do I need to bring anything"?

I think this is the best way to go. Subtle and little potential for insult. Other than that, go with your instincts.

hope for the best and just bring 5 bills just in case... You never know, but be aware, I dated a stripper for 2 years and while it was mind blowing, at the end of the day its all about money for the most part. Strippers usually dont look for boyfriends at work..

hope for the best and just bring 5 bills just in case... You never know, but be aware, I dated a stripper for 2 years and while it was mind blowing, at the end of the day its all about money for the most part. Strippers usually dont look for boyfriends at work..

In my humble experience most dancers had more money then I did when I was younger, (broke aspiring musician), so they would pay back then... and yes... I had "mind blowing experiences"... lol!

Now that I'm older, and make some $, I've had them mention "financial issues" but have never been asked for money before or after I've seen them.

I know the dancer I used to see recently mentioned how many times she's been propositioned in the champagne room and I was surprised!

If you haven't "propositioned", and she's interested in seeing you forget about the "SP type of date"... take her out and see what happens... I think you'll be in for a great time. Dancers do date guys who visit the clubs more then you think... and yes, I lived with a dancer/waitress from Pinks in my younger days for quite a few years and it wasn't about money at all, it was about love :grin:

Roam

Communication is key to all relationships. Just straight up ask her!

Perhaps you can state it like this:

"May I offer you a tip for your time?"

If she is interested in dating you, she will probably say "heck no ... I just want to spend time with you."

If she had money in mind, she'll let you know in her own way.

1. Ask where she might want to go on your "Date"

2. Ask if she does private dance at your place after the "Date".

2a. If yes, how much for the Hour/Hours.

3. Work your own magic behind close doors.

4. Write a review.

BTW, How far did you get when was dancing for you?

Yeah a record of the events is certainly in order. Pictures too!! ha ha:twisted:

Be prepared for everything. It is about the only way to go with this. Having a few bills on you during a date is the same to me as having some cover in case things get moving further then most first dates tend to go.

The rest is in your court.

P...

I'm all about honesty and clarity...

Just call her, or email if you are too shy, and ask her straight out:

"I am very excited about spending some time with you, but as I was thinking about it, I realised that I am unsure about something; is this "date" business or pleasure? Both concepts have me all worked up, but I want to make sure that I am not misunderstanding your intentions. The prospect of having you dance for me outside the club is thrilling, and the idea of actually having a real date with you is mind-blowing...I just want to ensure that I haven't misread you. If you could please clarify this for me, I would be greatly appreciative. Can't wait to see you either way."

Feel free to paraphrase, but I think something like this in advance of the meeting will show her that you are honest and open, and it will help avoid any embarrassing situations.

good luck

I'm all about honesty and clarity...

 

Just call her, or email if you are too shy, and ask her straight out:

I think I'm about a million times more clever when I can think things over and rephrase them endlessly in writing rather than stumbling orally. Of course, there's the problem of overthinking things too, and/or having a point that you thought was very clear misread because of the lack of body language to go along with comments. Maybe just demand she take money to make things simpler! ;-)

Just call her, or email if you are too shy, and ask her straight out:

 

"I am very excited about spending some time with you, but as I was thinking about it, I realised that I am unsure about something; is this "date" business or pleasure? Both concepts have me all worked up, but I want to make sure that I am not misunderstanding your intentions. The prospect of having you dance for me outside the club is thrilling, and the idea of actually having a real date with you is mind-blowing...I just want to ensure that I haven't misread you. If you could please clarify this for me, I would be greatly appreciative. Can't wait to see you either way."

Sorry dude... I have to disagree... many dancers, and I know things are changing... don't want to be SP's. One of the reasons they dance?

Anyways IMHO telling a dancer you'll pay for her if she's never tried being an SP, and doesn't want to be an SP, is a sure way of not seeing her. Again this is just my opinion.

By the way Curious... I really like this:

"Maybe just demand she take money to make things simpler!"

LMFAO!!! Trust me it's TRUE :lol:

Roam