Have a laugh

Thought we could all use a laugh today - ( at the expense of us guys, of course!) :icon_wink:

So true, Moms certainly carry the weight of the family's needs. But fear not dad's, you are loved and needed:) We just show it in different ways.

some of us single dads out here have a different chart...lol

some of us single dads out here have a different chart...lol

You took the words out of my mouth.

A retired man went into the JobCenter in Downtown Toronto and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant.

Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read, The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist.You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down, and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. The annual salary is $84,000, and you'll have to go to Winnipeg.

Good grief, it gets so cold there at this time of the year. Is that where the job is?

No Sir. That is where the end of the line is right now.

Three words you don't want to hear while making passionate love. Honey I'm home!

a young boy hears the word whorehouse on the schoolyard one day and asks his father the meaning of the word upon arriving home .

the father , shocked by the question blurts out

" its a place you go to have fun ! "

the boy insists that they go , the father informs the boy he is too young .

on the weekend the father has some friends over for drinks . remembering the question his son had he suggest that they all head out .

unbeknownst to the men the young over heard them and decided to follow . after some time has passed the men make their way home and the boy decides to enter the whorehouse .

he walks through the door and exclaims to the madame that he is there for a good time .the madame being a kind hearted quick thinking lady gives the boy three doughnuts and sends him on his way .

the parents are nervous wrecks back at home wondering where their child could be . as he walks through the door they both run to him and ask where he has been ?

the boy proudly exclaims " I was at the whorehouse ! "

his parents taken-a-back utter " well .... how was it ? "

the boy tells them " I handled the first 2 no problem , the third one I could only lick ! "

Environment Canada has issued a travel warning due to snowfall and bad road conditions.

They suggest that anyone travelling in the current icy conditions should ensure they have the following:

Shovel

Blankets or sleeping bag

Extra clothing including hat and gloves

24 hours worth of food

De-Icer

Rock Salt

Flashlight with spare batteries

Road Flares or Reflective Triangles

Full gas Can

First Aid Kit

Booster cables

I looked like a f**n' idiot on the bus this morning!

You want a good laugh.... Google "Mrs Browns Boys"

http://https://fbcdn-video-a.akamaihd.net/hvideo-ak-prn2/v/t42/1519735_10151803635281781_610623005_n.mp4?oh=3130d225797fbbc8bcf2c2c7ab5b33d0&oe=52EBFA13&__gda__=1391201863_4f082053b01819b04266e3b9f267083c

This may be what you need to put a smile on your face -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P08B_lBUL0E

It's the first day of kindergarten and the teacher decides to do taste association.

I'll blindfold you and give you a lifesaver and you tell me what flavor it is, she tells the children.

So she gives them all a cherry flavour and says What flavor is that?

The whole class answers Mmmm that's cherry.

Very good the teacher replies.

So she gives them all a grape and they reply Mmm that's grape.

Very good she says again.

Then she gives them all a honey flavor. The whole class sits perplexed by the strange taste, so the teacher says OK I'll give you a hint it's something your mom might call your dad.

Billy spits his out on the floor and yells Spit 'em out everyone they're ASSHOLES!'

One of the lovely ladies I visited recently gets credit for this one:

Why is a woman's bum hole like a 9 volt battery?

Because no matter how many times you've been told not to do it and no matter how wrong it seems....you are going to put your tongue on it.

Found this on FB and then Youtube this morning - I can't stop smiling watching these videos.

Enjoy, dog-lovers and yoga enthusiasts and the likes! :icon_biggrin:

Watching this video of Jesse put a big smile on my face --

This is one of the funniest call center stories I've ever heard of. Its a bit dated but still good.

http://www.waynesthisandthat.com/response.htm

I have to poop

Smile for the camera

Get off me, I'll do it myself

This is your first time....right?

You're almost as good as my ex!

I thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs!

I was so horny tonight I would have taken a sheep home

Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper

Hey! My friends were right! You ARE good!

On second thought, let's turn the light off.

But everybody looks funny naked!

Do I have to pay for this?

Actually, your sister 'likes" it like this

What's your name again?

Hold on, let me change the channel

It's nice being in bed with someone I don't have to inflate

Uhhh... I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago

Here's one at my own expense:

I was with a great lady some time back, a lady I had seen numerous times in the past ... we often joked and we could tell each other very straightforward thoughts without taking offence. On this particular occasion, I was trying to pleasure her with my tongue but it just wasn't working. She looks at me and exclaims "You're fired!!!", and just then she turns to her night table and pulls out one of those electric humming contraptions, lol. She says to me, "Just watch" I did and it was great ...

It was funny at the time, we both had a chuckle, and looking back I still think it was funny. It just happens that she needed a different kind of vibe!!! lol