Newbie: time 2 change my name to Dangerfield??

Hi ppl,

My first post in this forum, and don't know if my experience qualifies for TOFTT:)

After a bundle of nerves, and reading thru cerb, I finally took the leap and made an ppt with an sp I found on CER.

After arriving, we talked a bit, and started with a massage. Then I told her I was there cause, in my late teens and early 20's, I was a dense, nerdy kid who racked up a lotta rejections trying to get a love life, and wanted to create some better memories to replace a bunch of crappy ones (the theory, anyways).

I told her I din't want sex, but naked cuddle and caressing time.

Gawd, ain't irony an s.ob. The old days, ask a woman for sex, get a slap in the face. But this time, saying I DIDN'T want sex got me kicked out - there was no way she was gonna let me get her hot and bothered without mutual release.

I thought on the way back to the car, "damn, you can't even get a woman NOT to reject you if you PAY her. How bad is that?" Old days, that woulda been the reason to join the monastery. Irony is, I had to laugh.

And that's already made the past pain ease up a notch.

If there is a next time, I've learned I gotta clarify EVERYTHING important beforehand. Definitely never thought this request would be a deal-breaker.

I've found that the best way to approach a lady on cerb is to start off with a few e-mails and/or PMs. The first would be an introduction, describing yourself, giving some background... whatever you feel comfortable with. I usually give a brief description, my occupation and location. You may then proceed to arrange a time for an appointment. In the follow up e-mails, it's a good idea to relay your preferences, and inquire whether the lady is comfortable seeing you within those parameters. Also, I find it's good practice to confirm an appointment approximately one hour beforehand, as a courtesy for both the lady and the gentlemen, to ensure that nothing unforeseen has occured in the meantime which may cause a delay or cancellation on either end. Hope this helps!

Thanks for the advice. I'm finding a unique sense of community on cerb that - before a week ago - never knew existed.

I had the experience I did cause I wavered back and forth (nervously at first) bout jumping off the diving board. A few days before I went to the city, I started making calls and emails (incl. to a few sps with great reviews in cerb). My time in the city didn't match with any availability tho, so I went thru a list of other sps from CER before I found someone available.

I got my money's worth in my first time out, just not in the way I expected. Learned a lot, and I left on what I think were quite good terms. Miscommunication. Happens so rarely between a man and a woman:shock:.

Nicely said, Annessa!

no bartering, I paid up front (the donation was in the quite reasonable range). And I didn't ask for a refund when the snafu came up - figured if she didn't offer one, just likely to inflame the situation.

I did offer to get her off (I love that feeling), but the one-sided aspect is what upset her: she said that would make her feel "used" - I got the sense she needed it to be a mutual experience, and that the thought of a "one-sided romp" inadvertently touched a nerve.

She said it was the first time she'd ever had such a request. My hunch is that it caught her by surprise.

Btw, she and her friend (unavailable that day) are both sps, but it was her friend that offered gfe, not her. If I had gotten the date with her friend, maybe the experience woulda ended up different. Luck of the draw.

My hunch is, if I ever went back and asked for the full deal with both of them, they'd see it as a challenge to let me find out what I was really missing! (I wouldn't go back tho, cause I'd never know what other hiccups might pop up).