Negotiators...

I've been getting a fair amount of men trying to barter my rates lately, so I'm curious if this is happening to all the ladies in HRM? Mainly backpage men, however it's happening on a more frequent basis this year then ever before.. It's got me stumped, as to why..

Is it because I have a new Incall location, and am not seeing men out of hotels anymore or what?...

I would appreciate any feedback.

Kiss,kiss!

Amelia I have never bartered or negotiated with a lady in the 20+ years I have dabbled in this hobby so I don't think I can shed any major insight into this for you.

That said I get the impression that some clients think incorrectly that if a lady is on BP or Craigslist then she must be desperate and I guess they feel they have some leverage to bargain

Amelia... have you noticed any correlation between the amount of bargaining and the time of day? Are guys bargaining more late at night when they are full of liquid bravery???

Anyway just my musings... as i have no real insight into the issue.

Just my Opinion

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Time of day has no relevance to bartering, I feel like they do it all hours.i don't answer my phone after 11pm. Some men do this at 9am :(

I think we all get bits and spurts of all types of client issues. The site you mentioned has always served me well so I don't think it is to blame. Nor do I think there is any rhyme or reason for it. Some people are just born negotiators and even when they know better they'll still haggle. I'd suggest putting "no Negotiating" in your ads, if you haven't already, but those same guys probably wouldn't read it, lol. Hang in there, it'll pass:)

Thanks for the support Cristy. I will defiantly start adding non negotiable to my ads. :)

The economy is taking a downturn. Many hobbyists have less money. Some of the sex workers have less business, especially at this time of year. Many of the women in Ottawa are offering specials (just look at the ads in the Ottawa section). There are even more specials on back page.

The reality is that it never hurts to ask and many of us do.

If it's done respectfully, it shouldn't be a problem.

The economy is taking a downturn. Many hobbyists have less money. Some of the sex workers have less business, especially at this time of year. Many of the women in Ottawa are offering specials (just look at the ads in the Ottawa section). There are even more specials on back page.

The reality is that it never hurts to ask and many of us do.

If it's done respectfully, it shouldn't be a problem.

I'm sorry to disagree. It's known throughout the business that negotiating is frowned upon and disliked. Although I agree with your reasoning, this business is a luxury, not a necessity and unique to others. So, respectfully, if anyone can't afford it then do without until they can. If some are offering specials then take advantage of those specials. We list our rates for a reason, and that reason is because that is what we've determined we need to meet our costs of doing business, anyone asking for less makes us feel that they think we aren't worthy, or other negative thoughts. So even if asked politely, I still think it rude.

You can say as much as you want that negotiating is frowned upon in this industry but the reality is that a lot of women on this and other sites DO negotiate.

So if most women I talk to are willing to negotiate, then it would make sense that I ask if I am chatting with a new lady.

BUT I will say that when someone post "Rates are not negotiable" that means I don't bother asking. I respect what people put in their ads.

This business is rarely black and white, the lines are blurred and circumstances change for everyone.

As an example, what does it mean when someone says "all inclusive"? That has a different meaning from one lady to the next...

Yeah the best way to avoid people negotiating, is to put "rates are firm", or something to that extent. If you don't have that in your ad, don't be surprised ro get people that want to negotiate. I worked in retail a few years ago and you wouldn't believe the amount of people that wanted to negotiate the price of products or a service, its just a part if the business world that you unfortunately have to get used to

You can say as much as you want that negotiating is frowned upon in this industry but the reality is that a lot of women on this and other sites DO negotiate.

I'm not sure how many a lot is, but that isn't all. Like anything there are exceptions. But that doesn't make it acceptable or liked.

 

So if most women I talk to are willing to negotiate, then it would make sense that I ask if I am chatting with a new lady.

 

No, actually, it shouldn't. With all due respect, just because some will it doesn't make it proper etiquette to assume or ask. You should never assume because one lady does or did something that others will.

 

BUT I will say that when someone post "Rates are not negotiable" that means I don't bother asking. I respect what people put in their ads.

 

And that is appreciated, always. Men who read our ads and follow our requests are always greatly rewarded;)

 

This business is rarely black and white, the lines are blurred and circumstances change for everyone.

 

Absolutely and we are speaking generally. Perhaps because of hard times many women are breaking their boundaries and unwritten rules, as I said there are exceptions. This could be why the op is getting so many negotiators at this time. But it still doesn't make it an acceptable practice.

 

As an example, what does it mean when someone says "all inclusive"? That has a different meaning from one lady to the next...

I see what you are getting at but you can't compare the two. All inclusive can be subjective and different. I don't think ladies change their meaning of this when times get tough, yes it'll differ from person to person but not because of the economy.

I negotiated recently ...... my bad

I had booked an extended date and I wanted to bring some eats to have something to wash down with the Vino

I wanted burgers and she wanted a healthy chicken burger.

After a short negotiation I delivered chicken burgers .... ;)

I've never negotiated, however twice after going through a brief courtship I politely declined. In both cases the response was an offer of a reduction which I passed on as well.

Reputable individuals in case some one is wondering that.

So sometimes there can be mixed messages.

Peace

MG

I've never tried to negotiate. Partially because I feel it is rude to do so when it comes to a personalized service. I work with the public at times and hagglers drive me crazy.... a personal bias of course. Plus, this is not a generic commodity we are talking about. These ladies are giving of themselves in a most personal (and greatly appreciated) way.

Mainly I don't however because it seems counter productive to my goal of an intimate experience where I feel she is as into it as I am. "Hey baby. I don't think you are worth as much as you think you are worth. By the way, are you turned on yet?"

That doesn't mean price doesn't ever play a factor for me in my decisions. I have a play budget I try to stick to. Just that I would never ask. That's just me though. Others may view things differently.

I also notice that in these conversations that inevitably someone brings up the fact that some ladies have specials from time to time. This is completely different in my opinion. It is a calculated business decision based on temporarily mitigating the slower times. It is their choice to do so and sometimes a sound business practice. Most businesses do this in some manner or another. Asking for a deal when none is offered just seems presumptuous to me.

I'm probably the guy who pays too much for many things that I could be beating people down on, but life is to short for that in my opinion. My time is worth more than that to me. Twenty bucks should not be the deciding factor when it comes to intimacy.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

Mikey

Its just part of the Business. But there has been big layoffs in the oil patch , which is starting to filter down to other businesses's everything from equipment suppliers to your cafe on the corner.

Its just part of the Business. But there has been big layoffs in the oil patch , which is starting to filter down to other businesses's everything from equipment suppliers to your cafe on the corner.

That usually plays it's self out in the economy through a reduction in demand and then a response by suppliers to reduce their selling price for the good or service in order to increase sales... in very few industries does it play itself out in a negotiation over price.

The Oil Patch worker does not go into the restaurant and suggest the steak is now too expensive he / she purchases something cheaper or goes to a lower cost restaurant or he just eats at home.

Just my Opinion

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The whole rate thing always makes me feel awkward. Whenever I see a new lady, I always put in extra, just so she knows I can be trusted. I've also been offered discounted rates based on volume/repetition, and even that makes me uncomfortable, so I don't like to discuss that. Time = Price, end of story, simple math.

I will negotiate when I buy a vehicle or a house, or over a t-shirt in Jamaica, but that is pretty much it for me.

Maybe you are just getting an unlucky spell of bad callers, I hope it will go away soon!

Don't do it! don't barter. My personal opinion is men on BP are bottom feeders, looking for a deal where no deal really exist. I've been privy to some very personal information on men answering BP ads through a lady I know who's advertised occasionally on there, and it sickens me to see their behavior. She relayed to me the responses to her ads and it hurts me to see what you have to go through. I'm not surprised to read how confused you may be by the answers you're getting back from your ad. It's a tough time these days for everyone and there's always someone out there thinking they can get a deal out of this. I don't think it has to do with location, I think it's because you've advertised on BP.

The flip side though is when we talk about bartering ... bartering can be a two way street, and it's best when it favors you. I have to admit that I've bartered before but it was mostly in favor of the lady and I purposely made it that way. At times I've come across extra money and wanted to secure extra time with a lady over a period of time. So we made a deal, we bartered, and well, my offer was too good to pass. Call it what you want, I call it bartering, I made a deal and the deal worked for me and it was more than great for her. Just my opinion.

I've been getting a fair amount of men trying to barter my rates lately, so I'm curious if this is happening to all the ladies in HRM? Mainly backpage men, however it's happening on a more frequent basis this year then ever before.. It's got me stumped, as to why..

 

Is it because I have a new Incall location, and am not seeing men out of hotels anymore or what?...

 

I would appreciate any feedback.

 

Kiss,kiss!

Don't do it! don't barter. My personal opinion is men on BP are bottom feeders, looking for a deal where no deal really exist. I've been privy to some very personal information on men answering BP ads through a lady I know who's advertised occasionally on there, and it sickens me to see their behavior. She relayed to me the responses to her ads and it hurts me to see what you have to go through. I'm not surprised to read how confused you may be by the answers you're getting back from your ad. It's a tough time these days for everyone and there's always someone out there thinking they can get a deal out of this. I don't think it has to do with location, I think it's because you've advertised on BP.

 

The flip side though is when we talk about bartering ... bartering can be a two way street, and it's best when it favors you. I have to admit that I've bartered before but it was mostly in favor of the lady and I purposely made it that way. At times I've come across extra money and wanted to secure extra time with a lady over a period of time. So we made a deal, we bartered, and well, my offer was too good to pass. Call it what you want, I call it bartering, I made a deal and the deal worked for me and it was more than great for her. Just my opinion.

While I certainly agree that we should not negotiate i'm not sure it's fair to paint all men who use BP as bottom feeders... You are probably right that it attracts a higher percentage of less than desirable clients but it is also used by decent men especially in smaller markets where the main advertising venue for touring ladies is BP.

Just my Opinion

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While I certainly agree that we should not negotiate i'm not sure it's fair to paint all men who use BP as bottom feeders... You are probably right that it attracts a higher percentage of less than desirable clients but it is also used by decent men especially in smaller markets where the main advertising venue for touring ladies is BP.

 

Just my Opinion

 

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True enough, maybe I was generalizing ... but as I mentioned I was privy to see some replies by men to a lady's advertisement, and I was not impressed by how vulgar the language and how indecent the comments. So yes I agree that in some areas, it's the only venue, and after all there ARE decent men around, I may have gone overboard in my assessment.

Negotiating is human nature and it's been going on for millions of years. Walking into a mall where the price tag is the final offer is a relatively new phenomenon. I've never done it myself, but I've had women tell me that if the choice is to lose the client on a slow night or bend a bit on terms they'll pick working over not working. So guys are doing it, and it's obviously succeeding for them once in a while. Given that positive reinforcement, it's no surprise they keep asking. If you don't bend on price then just clearly say that in your ad and reply with a clear "No". They'll scurry off and seek something cheaper.

Some guys may negotiate but I think it's pretty much frowned upon in the community as a whole

A lady choosing to lower her rates is not the same as a guy dickering her price down. And many ladies do clearly state no negotiating on their websites.

And just my opinion, but negotiating in this lifestyle must be demeaning to a lady. In what other businesses is the person the business and the person is intimate with her client? Negotiating, well haggling, must make the lady feel cheapened

Here are just a few threads on the topic

http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=125152&highlight=negotiating

and

http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=141558&highlight=negotiating

Anyhow, a quick morning rambling from a non negotiator

RG

I'm not sure I have much new to add and I haven't posted in a while, but in discussions like this I think it's worth adding one's opinion as support if nothing else. One can hope that if enough people voice the same opinion then others may be less inclined to a certain behaviour.

So let me say that no, this is not a relationship where negotiating is either polite or productive. The most you can accomplish for the sake of a couple bucks is many ladies losing their opinion of you, wasting some people's time, and even if one does successfully badger...sorry, negotiate, a ladies' rates down then chances are you've also reduced the quality of the time you'll spend with each other. Would you really want to be with someone who basically told you they don't think your time is worth what you say it is?

There's are certainly reasons men negotiate, and it can be interesting to discuss those (and perhaps this post is a sidetrack since the OP was asking about "why" and not whether it's OK). But it's important to keep in mind that just because there's reasons people behave a certain way doesn't make it right.