Wifes that read emails!!!!

Ok I just had my first email from a friend of a clients wife...She was not pleased to say the lease. I ask gentlemen that you keep our information very private, as I always do the same.

She was very polite but also appears to be a mission to save me from this field.

I am at a loss of what to do, I asked for her to release the name of this gentlemen. If she agrees, I will have to black him this gentlemen....

What else can I do???

What should I say in this case???

Do I even respond in future???

Why do I feel like I am defending my right to be free and do what I want?

I was told maybe if I was raised with morals, I could see the error in my ways???

Does this lack of morals excuse my behaviour in her eyes, I am open to questions and advise board...

Thanks again.

Paige,

That is a difficult situation

I am sure the particular client no doubt has heard the news from his wife (Its not me, I'm single ) if they took the liberty to contact you directly. It appears they are somewhat blaming you for the individual to seek your services. In any event I suspect that there may be deep underlying problems in that relationship for the individual to seek elsewhere.

It difficult to say what to do, but I have a tendency to believe its best to remain silent. They emailed you for a reason looking for a response no less, so why give them what they are looking for at this time. It may just ad fuel to the fire.

You don't have to justify anything to anyone....

These are just my initial thoughts...

Ok I just had my first email from a friend of a clients wife...She was not pleased to say the lease. I ask gentlemen that you keep our information very private, as I always do the same.

She was very polite but also appears to be a mission to save me from this field.

 

I am at a loss of what to do, I asked for her to release the name of this gentlemen. If she agrees, I will have to black him this gentlemen....

 

 

What else can I do???

What should I say in this case???

Do I even respond in future???

Why do I feel like I am defending my right to be free and do what I want?

 

I was told maybe if I was raised with morals, I could see the error in my ways???

Does this lack of morals excuse my behaviour in her eyes, I am open to questions and advise board...

 

Thanks again.

First of all, the word discretion is very popular in this business and that goes both ways. It is easy to set a computer with password for each user so no one else can snoop in your own mailbox or files. If not then this client should not have kept e-mails on his PC. Not only he is going to have some explaining to do but it wasn't very smart to put you in that situation. I hope other SPs aren't getting similar lectures.

I hope this never happens to you again, however if it does I would try and ignore her and redirect the e-mail to your junk/spam folder this should stop from getting repeat e-mails as I would think she might be persistent.

Lack of morals, my favorite. Noth America is about 40 yrs behind when it comes to the sex industry and morals seems to be the excuse given for this. Think about the Red Light District in Amsterdam, sex trade there is legal but controled and this is one of the Major Tourist attraction. Bus loads of people go there and I guarantee you not all just look at the windows from outside. It is the same in ermany and the population there don't go around complaining about moral. Nobody should judge others.

I know I was very well raised and my parents thought me values. I don't feel like I have bad moral values because I use the services of a provider and you should not have to feel you need to defend yourself because you provide this service. If you were force into this it might be a different story but it is obvious from the reviews on here that you are very professional.

You have such a great personality that I bet if you were to put an announcement here that you are looking for a husband, your mailbox would get flooded before you can blink an eye. Now how many women out there would get such a response. So keep you head high as you are an outstanding woman.

Someone wasn't being very discreet and that's not fair to you. This person's judgemental attitude is their problem not yours Paige. I guess the risks in this business are that information gets into the wrong hands...it's too bad people aren't doing their utmost to safeguard your privacy. I think Cat had a similar incident which shows that there is more than one who is not keeping the cards close enough to the chest.

I agree that you should block the email address and forget the whole thing.

Have a great time out west.

Simply Wow...just don't understand the individuals that would allow to be caught in a manner such as they did. You deserve much better because you are simply terrific in all aspects of life.

I remember the pillow talk we had, and your goal/ambition for the next year, you follow through on WHAT you want to do..not what other people tell you what to do! Follow your heart, it will lead you in the right direction, and I'm sure what ever that may be, it would be just fine! You are a very amazing giving person if you ever wish to talk just give me a call or pm myself.Always hope to be a true friend of yours! Simply trash the emails from that person, once you find out who...but sorry it should be over for him..just my take on it..

Hugs

Pete

Thank you, I just thought my experience might be used as a wake up call, gentlemen keep our information guarded and locked away. Remember we are your treasures.

Gentlemen & Lovely Lady, Thank you.

These things will happen, it sucks to be at any part of the triangle. As for your morality this a very subject thing, some people think eating dog is a delicacy other people won't even wear leather belts because that's cruel to animals, our moral compass has very little to do with what we eat or our sexual preferences or habits (other all those non heter0sexuals would be sleeping in the streets and knifing little old ladies with screw drivers) anyway I hope you get the just of it?

Ignore, deny, ignore, deny, it's the fastest way out of the situation then the other 2 can sort it out amongst them selves. Unless you have the miss fortune of email your local and then you kinda need to follow the situation to cover your ass. I guess one lesson here is never email or txt your location.

I have gotten myself into predicaments, the guy will not look you up again until the dust settles then you can see him, it won't happen again with the same guy that's for sure.

As for the marriage offer from Loneskater, hell how about $1,000,000 just to be my GF!! (and no antlerman I won't give you $1,000,000) Unless you feel the need for the ring and then that is a done deal to.

Cat, Paige

Jesus! What next!???

The so-called moral or emotional issues are non-existant for you... that's for the wise-guy and his significant other to sort out between themselves. Neither are you obliged to try and be peace-makers of any sort. You don't own any part of the fundamental problem per se and I see zero upside for you should you try to engage in solving it. Ignore it... if you react to it, you may just fan the flames.

The real problem is the physical harassment risk you have now been exposed to. As someone mentioned above, you can direct their emails automatically into a spam folder and auto delete. And, handling the unwlecome phone calls can also be managed to a point.

It's when all hell breaks loose at your front door that things get very tricky and there are no great solutions to that. Bottom line is you have been SERIOUSLY compromised. At least Paige has a buzzer / security door they have to get past.

And as horrible as a one-on-one encounter with the individual would be, it just gets even worse if you have a legitimate client with you when the brick comes crashing through your plate glass window. Damn.

I hate - absolutely hate - the thought of you having to physically displace yourself as the only secure remedy to this travesty but as Cat said, if threats were to escalate, it could come to that. At the very least, where it does not already exist, you may need to consider security systems and a double-door entrance with dead bolts, peep-holes, etc. What a supreme pain in the ass. Unbelievable.

Paige i so agree with you that you ladies are our treasures and are to be treated with more respect and discretion than some have been doing. You are such a sweetie I'm sorry that someone has put you in this awkward position.

I not that worried, I didnt get the feeling like she was going to come over and trash talk me out. The lady said she was the clients wife's friend. And that she had to decide whether or not to even tell the wife. The email can from ( Mary Magdelane ([email protected] ) I know right!!!!

She states 'she can save me'...

I'm hoping this just blows over.

Thanks for the support cerb...

Cat, Page,

I simply can't believe that this is still an on going issue, and for that I am truly sorry that you have to deal with this yet again. Even once is one too many.

My opinion has been slowly changing to a much tougher position on this subject after reading this thread and the previous one that Cat had started. These ladies deserve our respect and admiration, they are intelligent, caring and give us a level of trust without question most people rarely get in their daily lives. The very least we can do is respect that trust.

Cat I believe you go way beyond the call with the way you handle these situations, but in my opinion the cost to you emotionally is too high a price to pay. These deadbeats don't deserve your trust or your respect because they have clearly abused your trust.

Yes, yes I know that shit happens, I am the king or at lease the crown prince of shit happens but with a friend I would never betray their trust no matter the cost. These gentlemen (and I use the term lousily) have put themselves into this position and it is not nor should it be your responsibility to try and fix their problem. I believe they should be cut louse and left to deal with it on their own.

Page although I have not had the privilege of meeting you yet I feel this fellow has done you a tremendous disservice, you are clearly a lady who has gained a tremendous level of respect and love from this community and you should keep that in mind. This ass hole that has put you into this situation should be left to hang. In the end he did not show you the respect you deserve by not taking the precautions necessary to ensure your privacy. I believe guys like this actually want to be caught because they don't have the courage to confront their spouses so you become the catalyst for them. In the end they are using you to reach some goal they may not even be clearly aware of. Morality is the issue here but not on your part. It is the ass hole who has abused your trust that clearly has moral issues.

I think I can safely say the gentleman that have responded on this thread and on the previous thread are just that, gentleman; they clearly respect, admire and love you ladies and I am proud to count myself one of them.

I am sorry if this seams to be a bit of a rant but common guys treat these ladies the with the respect and consideration they deserve.

SHYPILOT

The lady said she was the clients wife's friend. And that she had to decide whether or not to even tell the wife.

She states 'she can save me'...

...

Whats in it for her?

What comes to my mind right away if this lady goes to the wife what will she say? Your husband has been cheating on you. (She had better duck quick). If this lady does say anything she will likely get the brunt of the anger then the husband.

If the wife already suspects and has her friend watching the friend would have would have already gone to the wife and told her.

Simply delete and ignor the email, I would not mark it as spam you want information if this lady happens to send it your way. maybe you can figure out who the client is.

Whats in it for her?

 

What comes to my mind right away if this lady goes to the wife what will she say? Your husband has been cheating on you. (She had better duck quick). If this lady does say anything she will likely get the brunt of the anger then the husband.

 

If the wife already suspects and has her friend watching the friend would have would have already gone to the wife and told her.

 

Simply delete and ignor the email, I would not mark it as spam you want information if this lady happens to send it your way. maybe you can figure out who the client is.

What's in it for her? She's a holier than thou busybody out to save the world. Never under estimate the motivations of a zealot.

I did not read all the posts

I will

any wife who is on or off the balls...tee hee

know how to get into HIS email.

I tell all those gentlemen....beware and change your password often..

knows how to get to his email

I tell all my men ..............your wife knows....

Oh ladies... I feel for you. So much! A number of my friends have been through this. Chin up, and kudos to you for handling it with class, and grace enough to get things to a better place if you can.

And yes... I would think blacklisting anyone whom you've been seeing who's gotten "caught" and wants to stay in that relationship would be good. Even if it is a personal blacklist.

Now from the alternate view point - Neither hobbyist, nor provider...

Gents AND Ladies need to be more aware... There have been a number of situations over the past few years where SOMEONE read the emails. And I say someone because there are more than just one potential set of readers:

It is not just spouses, partners, etc. that see these emails either. There have been many cases where people use their work emails to contact people, and many workplaces are cracking down on computer usage.

Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo, Etc.

Change your password and have the access question something NOT relevant to your personal life. If it is relevant to it... Change it.

Other tidbits:

Don't make a personal face book (or other social networking site) account with your hobbying email... Adding your friends in a mass address book addition includes EVERYONE on your list unless you hand pick them and it is easy to slip up.

Don't put your real date of birth. Change it just a little. A month and 10 days either way keeps it close and keeps you from being found out immediately.

Don't use your universal nickname. You know... That one that everyone knows you by still and has known you by since high school or college.

DO NOT use your work/personal email as your "other" email address, or your backup email you have the recovered password sent to. Especially if you have a shared computer with outlook, etc.

I'm sure there are others around here with tidbits of wisdom they have picked up over time on the forums. Maybe someone should do an "email security" post?

I not that worried, I didnt get the feeling like she was going to come over and trash talk me out. The lady said she was the clients wife's friend. And that she had to decide whether or not to even tell the wife. The email can from ( Mary Magdelane ([email protected] ) I know right!!!!

She states 'she can save me'...

 

I'm hoping this just blows over.

Thanks for the support cerb...

With an email like that - I have a tendency to believe it was the wife and not the wife's friend.

With an email like that - I have a tendency to believe it was the wife and not the wife's friend.

I also think it was the wife. If the wife's friend came over to the house, went on the computer and read this guy's e-mail surely the wife would have read them too or at least should have been present while the friend was on the computer. Therefore I doubt Paige will find out who this guy was unless he was a regular as I don't think he will be back at least for a while. If the wife pull the friend story wait until she gets a hold of him which she has probably done by now.

That is if he still has a wife.

OMG my thought was from the movie fatal attraction...Glenn Close with a knife...geeeez...be careful men... a wife with a knife..(I know Close played the mistress)or the old story of the poor guy had his you know what chopped off....be sure you delete all your history when on line as well..

OMG my thought was from the movie fatal attraction...Glenn Close with a knife...geeeez...be careful men... a wife with a knife..(I know Close played the mistress)or the old story of the poor guy had his you know what chopped off....be sure you delete all your history when on line as well..

Wasn't there some sort of real event in the southern USA- Bobbit..I think was the name...The guys wife actually did a number on him. ouch!

Yup...that was it Bobbit

Well now that I have had a few, one other thought is.

If the guy is got caught then that is his problem and not PrettyPaige22.

All she has to say is yes he spent time with me and hang up, or simply reply to email in such a way.

She is providing a very VALUABLE service and any guy who get caught by his wife or S.O. is his problem, and she could personally black list them and not see them ever again.

From a single guy perspective, it is our responsibility to protect our own secrets and private life and if our activities as a hobiest causes a problem then too bad so sad, you should have been more proactive at protecting your privacy.

if a guy dosen't have his own password for the computer to send emails that can't be seen by his wife he's just dumb and no wunder he got caught and also should be done when he's in private like when she's in bed