saying no in sc?

have u guys ever... walk into a SC .. barely found a seat and found yourself approched strongly by dancer(s)? in this situation.. how would you say no? also if they are sticking around for so long....

im very interested in some tips in this situation, im a generally nice guy and understand the situation for everyone, but there is times that i would like to just hang out and have a beer or be more picky? :P

any input in this matter is greatly appreciated, thanks

Just politely let the girl know you're only staying for one drink. They're just trying to make some money, that's all.

I like the idea of "not right now" this is good, also try to reply with a smile saying to her " why you" wait for her to explain then if she is really not the girl, just ask if she do anything extra inside or cheeper. this way if she said no which is most likely then you are safe, if she said yes you a got a better and one in a life time deal.

If you've just arrived, tell the truth. Chat with them for a moment and let them know you just arrived and aren't ready for a dance just yet. I always why don;t you stop by in a bit and we'll see if I'm ready.

If you've just arrived, tell the truth. Chat with them for a moment and let them know you just arrived and aren't ready for a dance just yet. I always why don;t you stop by in a bit and we'll see if I'm ready.

I agree with BigBlueMachine. You will be approched if you enter a SC especially if the place is not full. These ladies are looking to make some money and not foster a long term relationship. In full club the lady will move on because she knows that you are not ready for a dance (yet), in a club that is empty it is a little more difficult because there are no alternatives for her so she will want to sit down and change your mind.

Being a nice person makes this difficult as noted above. Sometimes you can chat for a while and sometumes you just give in as it is the easiest path forward. You have a dance or two and it is worth the investment for the solitude it brings.

In any event you need to be prepared from onset when walking into a SC I know that I am.

since you did ask for our input I4fun, so here is mine (from a 10 year long strip bar veteran)....

They are two aspects of this to look at. So far most of us looked at one. The missing side is that the lady in the SC is there to make money because she needs money to live on. That is to pay for her rent and food and most of them are single mothers too which means they need the money to buy milk or food for their baby. This was the aspect that I think was missing and I thought I should mention it briefly.

On second aspect - yes I very much understand OP's situation that he may like to be there just for the beer and the stage dance and like to be picky to spend his hard-earned money on the ones that he likes most.

So, there should be a balanced approach to this and in my view (my 2 cents) there may be a solution.

To the OP:

1 - If you wish to watch only and have a beer, then it may be wise to sit next to the stage. This shows to the ladies that you may not be interested in CR and it would be less likely that they approach you for private dance. Then if you wish to see someone specific, walk to her and ask that specific lady.

2 - As I mentioned earlier the ladies are there to make money and pay for essentials. It has happened to me many times that I have been approached by those that I really didn't have preference. Usually I take them to one CR dance (and I let them know beforehand that it will be one dance only). The $20 doesn't affect me that much but may make a difference to the lady. It is not pity by no means at all. I like all females but like some more. So when I take a lady who approaches me to CR and have preference for others, I still will enjoy and have good time but will reserve my 3 to 5 songs for those who I enjoy the most.

I like SA's point number 2 ... I had never thought of that at least quite that way. Point number 1 ... well ... since that area is known as "perverts row," I try to avoid that.

Here's what I say when a dancer that I'm not likely to be interested in asks to sit down:

Option 1: If I am waiting for another dancer, I simply say, "Thanks for stopping, but I am waiting for another dancer. Sorry and have a good evening." That usually works even if you are not really waiting for another dancer and is, for the most part, a "politically correct" answer.

Option 2: If I'm not going to be interested, "Thanks for stopping, I appreciate it, but I'm probably not going to be buying dances for a quite a while. Have a good evening."

Here's what I say if a dancer who is walking by asks for a dance and I 'm not interested:

Option 3: "No thank you, but thanks for stopping."

Option 4: Upping the ante -- If there is a dancer I might be interested in, I say, Thanks for stopping, I'm not interested in a dance right now but maybe later. However, I'd be glad to buy you a drink if you'd like." That puts the decision back to the dancer.

If a dancer manages to sit down for more than a minute or so, I like SA's idea of making it clear its only one dance.

On threads like this, I always hope the dancers contribute ... they are out there!

Maybe another suggestion that works for me, is sitting at the bar or close to it (many SC's have a few tables by the bar). It's away from "pervert's row" and still send a signal that you are quietly sitting around to enjoy the show, leaving the option to walk to a dancer if you wish to, or strike a conversation with a dancer coming by.

These are all good answers. I think I've used them all over the years. Most of the time this works really well, but I've had a couple of occassions where it didn't. I've told the anxious lady that I just arrived and wanted to get a drink and relax for a little while before having any dances. Then she keeps checking back with me every 20 minutes or so to see if I'm ready yet. It gets a little uncomfortable as the more persistent she becomes, the less interested I am. But I feel badly because I know from her perspective she is just trying to earn a living and it has probably been a slow day.

If I am waiting for a particular dancer I say so. If not, I say that I am just checking things out for a while but thanks for introducing yourself.

I find this gets the message across without causing any humiliation.

Maybe another suggestion that works for me, is sitting at the bar or close to it (many SC's have a few tables by the bar). It's away from "pervert's row" and still send a signal that you are quietly sitting around to enjoy the show, leaving the option to walk to a dancer if you wish to, or strike a conversation with a dancer coming by.

Biggest problem with the bar, in my opinion, is that's where a lot of the dancers hang out hoping to make eye contact with someone. Maybe that only applies to Barb's, but there's really no other place to hang out except at the tables.

Dinausors were still roaming the earth my first time at a SC. You already received a lot a good advices.

Indeed the ladies are there to earn a leaving. My take on it is that if you just arrived and a lady sits beside you at a table and you are not necessarily interested and simply say that you just arrived and want to take your time and look around. If you are not interested ... don`t say may be later as she will come back later and you will be facing the same problematic.

I agree that if you just want to have a few and relax... sit around the stage/bar and enjoy. Sitting alone at a table is an invitation for company.

As a dancer, I really appreciate honesty. If you're waiting for someone, tell me and I'll let her know in case she hasn't noticed your arrival and you can see her faster. If I'm just not your type, that's okay too. I'm a big girl and I understand that I won't be everyone's cup of tea. Of course, it's always appreciated if you're nice about it. What I don't appreciate is being asked to "come back later" if there is no legitimate interest and you're just saying that so I'll go away (I'm a big girl, really, no hurt feelings if you say no!), or if, again, there is no legitimate interest, but you let me sit and chat for a long time and protest when I leave but won't get a dance.

Don't get me wrong - I love to sit around chatting and getting to know new people, but if there's just no interest, it's a waste of time for BOTH of us: for me because I could have spent that time with someone who was interested, and for you because you're not interested and could have spent that time with a girl you were interested in.

When it comes down to it, you're the customer, and you have the right to the company of whatever dancer you want. Don't feel obligated to chat with or buy dances from girls you don't like - though it is always appreciate if you go for a dance if you let a girl sit and chat with you for a while. For this reason, I always ask first if you'd like some company before sitting down with someone. I see this as giving you an easy "out" if you're not into me. Of course, I can see how tricky this situation can get if a girl just sits down and starts chatting you up.

Bridgette_Dances - I agree with you that it's always best to ask a gentleman before sitting and I always did so. Another good rule to follow is not to even think about approaching a gentleman until the waitress has brought him his drink. Too often I saw ladies sit down with gentlemen the second they come in the club. Let him get a beer first!

For this reason, I always ask first if you'd like some company before sitting down with someone. I see this as giving you an easy "out" if you're not into me.

I agree with lots of points you are making in your post Bridgette except may be what I quoted. Surely if a lady asks me if I like some company (the question that I have been asked many times) then I can't say no I don't!!! Can I?? This is hardly a way out or may be I am a bit out in my way of thinking lol? Then after, I can't have anyone else's company either because I said no I don't want some company to one and she may be offended if 5 minutes later I walk to another lady and invite her to my table (and as we know the word spreads very rapidly in the Changing room in SCs about clients lol).

I agree with lots of points you are making in your post Bridgette except may be what I quoted. Surely if a lady asks me if I like some company (the question that I have been asked many times) then I can't say no I don't!!! Can I?? This is hardly a way out or may be I am a bit out in my way of thinking lol? Then after, I can't have anyone else's company either because I said no I don't want some company to one and she may be offended if 5 minutes later I walk to another lady and invite her to my table (and believe me the word spreads very rapidly in the Changing room in SCs about clients lol).

Actually, in the two years I was dancing, many gents used that as an "out." Some of the reasons I heard were:

"I'm actually waiting for my regular dancer."

"I'm actually just waiting for my buddy to arrive."

"I'd just like to enjoy the stage myself for now and might be interested in company later."

or simply: "No thanks."

Why would I be offended if you turned me away and spent time with another lady. That happens *all night long* no matter how popular a dancer you are. I think I'm an incredibily sexy, intelligent woman, but I also know I'm not everyone's type, nor do I expect to be. This is just reality and there is no reason to be offended.

As a top earner at the club who frequently got the "most" lapdances, I would tell people "I also got the most No's". It's true!

Sometimes when a lady sits down, I have stated right away that I don't want any dances or that I am waiting for someone else. This is out of concern for her. I don't want her to waste her time. Occasionally they have snapped back that I don't have to be so blunt - that it wouldn't hurt to chat a little.

Other times, with this in mind, I have chatted briefly (just a minute or 2) and then politely said that I am waiting for someone else. Occasionally the lady has rudely replied that I wasted her time and should have said so right away! aaaargh! I can't win!

I am always polite and respectful, but honestly don't know the best way to deal with this as each dancer responds differently. I should add that these problems have only happened a few times. Most of the ladies are wonderful.

Actually' date=' in the two years I was dancing, many gents used that as an "out." Some of the reasons I heard were:

 

"I'm actually waiting for my regular dancer."

"I'm actually just waiting for my buddy to arrive."

"I'd just like to enjoy the stage myself for now and might be interested in company later."

or simply: "No thanks."

 

Why would I be offended if you turned me away and spent time with another lady. That happens *all night long* no matter how popular a dancer you are. I think I'm an incredibily sexy, intelligent woman, but I also know I'm not everyone's type, nor do I expect to be. This is just reality and there is no reason to be offended.

 

As a top earner at the club who frequently got the "most" lapdances, I would tell people "I also got the most No's". It's true![/quote']

 

 

It is good to know that you are so open minded about being turned away but not everyone is like that. There has been days when I used to go to SC and unlike these days I wasn't able to grant everyone at least one dance because of financial difficulties those days. So I did used to turn away as politely as I could (mostly in Montreal and also one specific club in NCR) and YES in a few cases (not all, clearly a very small percentage and in overwhelming majority of cases the ladies are wonderful but still not all...) the dancer was offended. In two separate cases in the one club at NRC, (when I said I am waiting for my specific girl) the dancer left at anger, yelling and cursing.... So as I said great for you Megan being so understanding but this understanding sense is not by any means universal and this comes out of my personal experience. And my SC experience extends over a dozen years.

Here's a tip for the occasion when you are coming to see a particular dancer (assuming you know her) -

When you first arrive, make a beeline for the bar. Order your manly drink, a girly drink and a bottle of water. Go to an unoccupied table. Pull out the chair that you don't intend to sit on, angle it to accommodate another person. Set the girly drink and the bottle of water on the table in front of that spot. Open the bottle of water. Move to your chair, sit down and have a sip of your drink.

Without words you have indicated that you have company (or at least you expect company soon) and that an approach by another will probably not yield results.

Failing the above, polite conversation always works. I don't think I have ever been offended or offered offense when approached. I will generally tell the dancer from the beginning that they are welcome to join me but my true intention is to spend my time with someone else. That way, if she wants to continue to work her charms she can and perhaps plant the seed of interest. If she sees a dead end, she can move on. No one gets hurt, no one gets mad and no one is frustrated.

Sometimes when a lady sits down, I have stated right away that I don't want any dances or that I am waiting for someone else. This is out of concern for her. I don't want her to waste her time. Occasionally they have snapped back that I don't have to be so blunt - that it wouldn't hurt to chat a little.

 

Other times, with this in mind, I have chatted briefly (just a minute or 2) and then politely said that I am waiting for someone else. Occasionally the lady has rudely replied that I wasted her time and should have said so right away! aaaargh! I can't win!

 

I am always polite and respectful, but honestly don't know the best way to deal with this as each dancer responds differently. I should add that these problems have only happened a few times. Most of the ladies are wonderful.

I think therein lies the real dilemma - each dancer responds differently. So, while myself, Megan, and many other dancers may be perfectly fine with being told no, there are other girls that may take it personally. All you can do is be as polite as possible, and do what makes you most comfortable. I guess you just can't please everyone!

I once visited a club and ran into a lady that had danced for me on a few occasions, not a regular by any means, since I only visited from time to time. She sat down and started talking to me, and when she asked if I wanted to dance, and I politely said no, she got rude. Didn't yell, but was very huffy and smirky and said she should not have to waste her time. I may have danced with her some time in the future, but not any more. The best ladies are the ones that are polite and gracious, whether you except or reject.

There are many different situations and many different personalitites in play when I do not want to take a girl in the CR. However, I will ofetn tell her up front, very politely, but will offer a drink just to chat with her a bit if she wishes. Most of the time the girl accpets my offer. We can chat for a while, nothing more expected, and afterwards, we are both on our merry way. It has also occurred that I did end up going for a dance after all and, in most cases, was very pleased and I did repeat with some.

I agree, sometimes it is definitely no and it must be said up front, diplomatically, but it is often a good idea to at least chat a few minutes with the girl... you might be surprised.

I think therein lies the real dilemma - each dancer responds differently. So, while myself, Megan, and many other dancers may be perfectly fine with being told no, there are other girls that may take it personally. All you can do is be as polite as possible, and do what makes you most comfortable. I guess you just can't please everyone!

Agreed. Some dancers i've met are honestly gracious and understanding about it, most are "indifferent", or have a neutral reaction. The stronger reactions i've had were from dancers i've met before.

Additional Comments:

Biggest problem with the bar, in my opinion, is that's where a lot of the dancers hang out hoping to make eye contact with someone. Maybe that only applies to Barb's, but there's really no other place to hang out except at the tables.

Agreed for Barbs, as well as for Taboo. Worked well for me at Pigale and the Fax though.

saying no, so its off to CR we go, and usually for a song.

But if I just walked in, and had even order yet, I simply tell her, "see me after" and wink at her ;) I love beautiful women in scantly clad of clothing, so it's hard to say no at times. But being yourself and being polite goes a long way.

have u guys ever... walk into a SC .. barely found a seat and found yourself approched strongly by dancer(s)? in this situation.. how would you say no? also if they are sticking around for so long....

 

im very interested in some tips in this situation, im a generally nice guy and understand the situation for everyone, but there is times that i would like to just hang out and have a beer or be more picky? :P

 

any input in this matter is greatly appreciated, thanks