Noob question, re DATY

I am a new member and i have been struggling to educate myself as quickly as possible but I am quite alarmed to learn how often daty is performed during many of the encounters I have read about. If certain SPs are concerned about kissing why are they not concerned about daty? Mind you I love doing it because there is nothing more satisfying than bringing a woman almost up to the point of orgasm and keeping her floating at that point for as long as humanly possible but the reality is that both providers and clients are taking a massive risk. What are they doing to protect themselves?

I agree that kissing can be a very personal act for many woman and that they aren't happy at providing this service. I personally enjoy kissing. The mouth is probably one of the areas of the body that has one of the highest population of germs and there is a greater risk of getting an infection via kissing over daty. And this risk is to a wider group of infections e.g. (common cold and flu) that to sexual transmitted ones. Sure, you can get infections through an open cut or sore, but you are also exposed through every breath taken in by the lungs.

I think if you are going to include kissing in your encounters the use good hygiene and care in selecting your partner is really important. Non of the ladies wants to be laid up while they fight off a cold or the flu.

I can see the confusion. I think kissing is restricted, when it is, because it is considered a more intimate and emotional act. I could say the same for DATY; what is more intimate than having your lips and tongue on the absolutely most sensitive parts of a woman's body? I rather enjoy it for that very reason, and have been lucky recently to be with partners who enjoyed receiving and were spectacular to offer to. :)

I don't believe the restriction is due to risk of infection, I think it's a personal boundary some don't wish to cross, and I would respect that.

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As for daty...some hate to receive it. But if you really want to be safe, try to seek a lady that offer cover daty, which is taking a dental dam (do I have it right?) or cutting a condom and using it as a barrier to protect both party. Or you can ask the lady that you have some interest in, if she is willing to use one:)

I have heard of using dental dam's before, maybe it's me but I can't imagine either person getting any pleasure out of that.

Of course I do understand people wanting to be safe.

There may be some ladies who may only like kissing on the lips, or no kissing, but that's it

It is their comfort zone

But as Malika says, the only safe sex is masturbation. And the only way to make that safer is wear latex gloves and a condom (tongue in cheek here) All sexual activity between two or more people involves an element of risk, because the only person's sexual history you can know 100% is your own, and

even that has a element of unknown to it, because you never know for certain your sexual partner(s) history. There are ways to minimize the risk, but it can't be eliminated.

And as a sidebar, after a bad breakup, well I swore never to date again. For approx three years I didn't date, no sex, just masturbation. Risk free yes, but I much prefer the companionship, with it's risks, of women. And that is why I got into this lifestyle

For whatever it's worth

RG

I did a quick search on the web and found a make it yourself dental dam link: http://std.about.com/od/prevention/ht/dentaldamhowto.htm

There are instructions on how to make one with one of those disposable latex gloves I am not sure how it would taste though.

In regards to what Boomer said.... about the mouth being the place with one of the highest degrees of germs..... this according to one of my friends (who just finished an ob/gyn rotation), is incorrect... the dirtiest place with the most germs on/in a woman's body is inside the woman's va***** (not sure if i'm allowed to use actual word on cerb).... also one should note that saliva can act as a disinfectant is very useful to promote healing in small cuts and scrapes.... also taking into account a recent post about the safety of all sexual activity and std's from the Centre of Disease Control (link provided on thread), kissing is one of the safest options as compared to DATY..... on another note, I can definitely understand service providers would not offer kissing (LFK and DFK).... I agree that it can be more intimate.... I myself that way myself....

Well I guess I should respond because I do allow daty{sometimes} but not kissing.Like malika said kissing for me is a presonal thing,something I keep for a relationship,daty if myself and choosen person decides to do it is between to adults who are aware of the possible risks,as is sex with multiple partners.All one can do is take as many precautions as possible and visit your doctor regularly.We all know, as said, the only safe sex is with yourself!and what one adult decides to do with another is just that,between to consenting adults.

Lots of great insight in this thread. Cheers to all!

I can't quite figure out what DATY stands for? Can someone fill me in?

Urban Dictionary is useful for this sort of thing.

Also, there's a sticky thread on this in the general forum.

I find the powdery residue on dental dams really irritates my skin. also just a helpful hint I recently learned: once you're comfortable/knowledgeable around the application and use of a female barrier, saran wrap is a lot easier to use and allows more sensation to be experienced while maintaining a higher level of harm reduction than no barrier.

I actually tried saran wrap a long time ago and it was a total flop, then I switched to dams but they irritated and didn't feel very good so I stopped using any barrier/doing DATY @ work.

recently, I tried saran wrap again and I think having more practice/experience helped a lot because now I swear by it. it holds in place better, you can make it whatever size you want but dams are only one size (you could make them smaller if you cut them but not bigger), allows more stimulation, still safer, and if u have sensitive skin like me, it shouldn't bother you because its just plastic! fold in half if you're worried about rips/tears in the wrap.

oh wow, talk about learning something new.. thank you, Parker! I seriously had no idea there were holes in plastic wrap. It seems I've been peeling back corners and edges for nothing. Oh boy am I laughing at myself now!

However, it's still less risk than no barrier at all, so that makes me feel a bit better at least. I think I mentioned possibility of it (saran wrap) ripping in my last post, too... that sucks because I find it's much better for, well all the reasons I mentioned before but won't annoyingly repeat again.

but not as safe as the dams due to microscopic holes, that I did not know. I didn't even know there was a difference between microwaveable and non microwaveable saran wrap. nevermind that there was holes in it. (good thing it's been almost purely personal use saran wrap, but still..)

Any clues as to how accessible the non powdered ones are? maybe I'll just rinse the powder off lol

thx again 4 the info :)

Instead of a dental dam or non-microwaveable Saran wrap, you can slice open a condom or a glove. The gloves are thicker than most condoms, though, but it's easier to cover a larger area with them. If the gloves are powdered, the powder rinses off very easily.

Excellent topic. I am a man who loves to pleasure a woman with is mouth and tongue. I am also a very safe player and always insist on some kind of a barrier (safety for both) The simplest and easiest way is to cut off the tip of a condom then just cut it open. For those ladies that said they were sensitive to the dental dams, you could use the condoms that are good for you. Saran wrap (as mentioned) should not be used as it is not proven to be safe.

A little hint. I like put some lub on a ladies honey pot first then put the condom on top.....it's much better that way. You won't even know it's there, honest.

Enjoy!

Thanks everyone for this great info, I was curious but clueless re: dams. Also, Hi, my first comment.

All public health departments in Canada have a sexual health clinic staffed by RNs. Condoms, dams, etc. are available free, although there may be a requirement for some counseling/education in proper use. They are a great resource.

I agree that kissing can be a very personal act for many woman and that they aren't happy at providing this service. I personally enjoy kissing. The mouth is probably one of the areas of the body that has one of the highest population of germs and there is a greater risk of getting an infection via kissing over daty. And this risk is to a wider group of infections e.g. (common cold and flu) that to sexual transmitted ones. Sure, you can get infections through an open cut or sore, but you are also exposed through every breath taken in by the lungs.

 

I think if you are going to include kissing in your encounters the use good hygiene and care in selecting your partner is really important. Non of the ladies wants to be laid up while they fight off a cold or the flu.

I wonder how to approach a SP about kissing? It's not a must, but I think it's a staple in any foreplay. As for getting sick, eating healthy can help (Ya, I know, i'm not your mom lol)

I wonder how to approach a SP about kissing? It's not a must, but I think it's a staple in any foreplay. As for getting sick, eating healthy can help (Ya, I know, i'm not your mom lol)

When you find a companion you'd like to spend some time with, ask her if kissing is okay. I get asked this question all the time. I do provide kissing: I enjoy it a lot, myself.

Make sure that your breath is nice and fresh when you arrive or you might get turned down. I've been known to offer a guest a toothbrush. I generally keep some breath mints handy, just in case they, or I, might benefit!